Tag: whiskey

Ammunition bourbon is a wine-forward whiskey that punches above its weight class

Cabernet barrels create a unique profile. But is that a good thing?

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

I love whiskey. I’m ambivalent to wine. That made Ammunition’s cabernet-barreled bourbon a slightly weird call for me.

While I’m used to Scotches aged in unique casks to impart flavor, it’s not something I’ve seen with American bourbons all that often. With a Scotch, wine or sherry barrels impart calming fruit sweetness to pair with the salt and peat of the spirit itself. But bourbon is already a little sweeter to begin with; would this be too much? Not enough? Wine-tainted whiskey? Whiskey-tainted wine?

Either way, it was an interesting proposition. Ammunition is aged at least four years and clocks in at my local Woodman’s at about $40. The Cask Strength is roughly double that price — expensive, but still not near the top of the stupidly expensive American whiskey market. While it isn’t a bargain bourbon it’s still relatively cheap in a landscape where other new spirits are prohibitively expensive. But none of that matters if it tastes like a bar mat at the end of the night.

Let’s see how it is.

Ammunition Bourbon on ice: B

This pours with a rich caramel color that seems a little too dark to be purely barrel-added, particularly for a four-year malt. It undeniably looks great, however, and some of that rich color can be explained by the six months it spent in Bordeaux wine casks.

The wine influence creates a noticeable lightness on the nose, which smells clean and inviting. There’s red wine, fruit and grain swirling together that lets you know this isn’t your typical glass of Kentucky whiskey.

The first sip is solidly smooth. The spirit inside wouldn’t be old enough for kindergarten, but it tastes wise beyond those years. The warmth of a cask strength whiskey is there, but there’s no burn. Admittedly, that may be because I’m starting with a glass on ice, but this is supremely mellow.

That wine is prevalent in each sip. I’m not a wine guy, but this aged grape flavor profile undoubtedly helps cover up any of the flaws that come with a younger malt.

The issue there is that it doesn’t really taste like a bourbon. The sweetness isn’t from the oak, it’s from that grape profile. The depth isn’t quite there. It’s a good sipper, a proper dram that’s easy to drink. But it’s not quite what I’m looking for if I’m pulling from a bottle of whiskey.

Maybe I did this all wrong. Lemme try it neat, like I probably should have to start.

Ammunition Bourbon neat: B

You get more of that boozy warmth off the top without the ice, but the headliner here remains the wine cask influence. This is a bourbon, sure, but you can’t escape those grapes.

The taste is wine forward, which means you get those notes of aged grape and oak before the familiar whiskey tenets roll in. There are other fruits at play here; a little cherry, maybe some peach — but mostly, yeah, grape.

That leaves a lingering sweetness that sticks around after the sip. There’s no clear end to this; no demarcation between taste and aftertaste. Something like the muted salt of an Islay Scotch would do wonders here. Instead, you get a spirit that’s undeniably smooth but not especially complex.

But hey, if you like bourbon and wine, look no further. And at $40 (or $80), it’s not quite a bargain whiskey, but it feels like it’s more expensive than it is.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Ammunition Bourbon over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Yeah, I like it well enough. You can find better whiskeys at a lower price, but Ammunition is unique and well suited to anyone who likes bourbon and wine similarly. It’s a solid sipper that isn’t overly pretentious, which is a nice change from the spate of other new, higher-end whiskeys on the shelf.

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Bourbon of the Week: Joseph Magnus Triple Cask whiskey is proof Michigan can make a dang fine malt

A warm pour, dense with flavor and eminently sippable.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

I don’t think of Michigan when I think of whiskey. I’d imagine most of the fine folks reading this don’t either.

But Joseph Magnus’s bourbon, it turns out, has been around since the 19th century. In that 135-plus year span, the distillery has been shuttered, revived, purchased and just about everything you’d expect from a regional whiskey maker through the tumult of prohibition, the whiskey crash of the 1980s and everything else. What remains is a Holland, Michigan based company back in business and vying for shelf space in a crowded marketplace.

Wrapped in the old school trappings you’d expect, Magnus’s Triple Cask Bourbon looks the part. Let’s see how it tastes.

Neat: A

Wow. Just uncorking this bottle makes it clear where this whiskey came from. There’s a distinct sherry smell that floats out of the neck once you crack the seal.

Pouring it into a proper glass reveals a rich tea coloring and a complex, fruity nose. You’re getting those grapes, sure, but there’s a little cherry, peach, and other stone fruits to turn a simple sniff into an olfactory pattern of paisley.

It’s awesome.

The first sip is notable in how long it lingers on your tongue and how many different permutations it runs through over what feels like 10 full seconds. The warmth of a 100 proof bourbon is there — though it never burns — as you go from sweet fruit, to grain, to a little spicy …plum? to oak and finally a return to that cognac beginning.

There’s a lasting chewiness to each sip; a dry finish with rounded off edges, if that makes sense. I’m not a wine guy, but the grape-stained barrels here impart a lot of flavor beyond your standard vanilla/oak/tannins. Those weave their way into a proper bourbon in a spirit of cooperation rather than combat.

There’s just so much to unpack here, but all of it is good.

If you’re looking for a bourbon to sit and take your time with, Magnus should be your jam. As long as you’re OK with a little cognac and sherry in the mix.

With ice: A

I added ice because, even though this doesn’t need it, I like ice in my whiskey sometimes. And it’s weird if you get shamed for that, so do you.

Even with minor dilution this bourbon smells incredible, with fruit and spice and grain braided together. The ice cools off that warmth a bit, allowing it to sneak past your uvula before a warm breath clocks back in. The flavors remain a whirlpool, just toned down a bit from the “HERE BE DRAGONS” pitch of the unaltered version. It’s a gentler sip, as you’d expect. But it’s just as good, especially if a few rocks is your whiskey go-to.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Joseph Magnus Triple Cask whiskey over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Friends, I might drink this instead of water for the immediate future. It’s wonderful.

Whiskey of the Week: Tullamore D.E.W. Honey is doing too much

A light honey of honey with my whiskey sounds great. This is not a light touch.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Tullamore D.E.W. exists in a weird spot for me. I know it’s Irish whiskey. I know it’s *pretty good* Irish whiskey. But it lacks the recognition of Jameson or even Powers here in Wisconsin.

On top of that, Irish whiskey tends to lag behind the other whiskeys in my life. I love bourbon. I really love Scotch. But I only like Irish whiskey, which is smooth and entirely drinkable on ice or with a mixer but often escapes me.

Thus, it seemed like a good time to try the pride of Tullamore, Ireland’s latest offering. Tullamore D.E.W. Honey is exactly what it sounds like; a honey-infused take on the distillery’s classic blend. On paper, that’s an easy win. Mix Drambuie and Scotch and you’ve got an iconic cocktail. Put it all in one bottle and you’ve got the rusty nail taste in half the steps.

Of course, Tullamore D.E.W. Honey would like to be more than that. Let’s see if it pans out.

Honey, neat: C+

It pours mahogany brown. It smells boozy and warm, with the sweet honey and vanilla apparent right off the top. It’s very clear this isn’t a typical whiskey but a liqueur, but I love a good rusty nail so I’m on board.

Wow. This is more saccharine sweet cocktail in a bottle than a whiskey. It’s soft and… yeah, sugary. That washes away any heat from the 35 percent ABV within. I’d say that makes it easy to drink, but there’s a certain syrupy aspect to it that makes it at least slightly difficult to come back to.

It’s not subtle or complex. It’s honey and a little vanilla and citrus, but mostly honey. There’s a little warmth at the finish, but the aftertaste is slightly gritty sugar. It feels like it would benefit greatly from the thinning influence of a little ice, so…

Honey on ice: B

The ice dulls the heat slightly, but the smell off the top still gives off a “fancy coffee creamer” vibe. A couple cubes does thin it out slightly, making it the superior way to drink it. It’s still a bit formless, a little sloppy, but it’s fine.

With the ice, it feels more like a cocktail than a half-formed shot. It’s not perfect, but it’s less syrupy and more pleasant on your tongue. I’m getting the distinct feeling this was meant for either chilled shots or as a component in bolder cocktails. Ah, well, it’s still OK.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Tullamore D.E.W. Honey over a cold can of Hamm’s?

I’d happily rip a shot of it if someone was celebrating an occasion, but there are better whiskeys out there. And if you want a touch of honey with your whiskey, a rusty nail is always going to be superior.

Whiskey of the Week: Blue Run elbowed its way into the high-end bourbon world. Is it worth $100+?

Does bourbon need a SNKRS-type hype cycle of artificial scarcity and big prices?

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

The high-end whiskey market is, frankly, a little bit stupid right now.

It has been for a while. Blanton’s, for example, used to be a pretty good bourbon you could find many places for around $48 a bottle a decade ago. Now it’s mostly relegated to resale markets at prices that in no way reflect the good, not incredible spirit within.

Needless to say, this demand for high quality whiskey that doesn’t necessarily have to be elite has spurred a rash of new contenders to a crowded field. On one hand, they’re pushing the average bottle price higher and higher and creating a swelling tide of prices that don’t always equate to the booze you’re getting. On the other, if they’re filling that void while, say Four Roses or Rare Breed, can stay affordable and folks are content dropping $100-plus on a bottle, well, godspeed.

This is where Blue Run comes in.

Its inaugural offering was a 13-year bourbon that clocks in at $175. What’s the history behind that price point? What’s the story that goes into each cask? What’s the tale bourbon nerds can tell when they break at the bottle at a party? Well, uh, there isn’t really anything truly unique other than the fact it looks expensive, and is.

An old, esteemed whiskey head (Jim Rutledge) joined forces with a new, rising whiskey head (Shaylyn Gammon) and together they blend bourbons distilled elsewhere. The founders behind the spirit are exactly the types you’d expect to bring SNKRS-type drops and limited releases to the world of high-end whiskey; bourbon-loving executives who saw an opportunity.

Blue Run wants to create an exclusive world unto itself despite lacking the history of other exclusive spirits. Or, barring that, they just want you to drop three figures on a fifth of booze.

That’s a frustrating place to start, but none of it matters if the bourbon itself is good. Today’s review is a bottle of the high rye whiskey, second batch. Let’s see if it’s worth the $100 price tag.

Blue Run high rye whiskey: B+

In fairness, Blue Run — a product name merely one letter away from being “the wine so bad it made the news” — looks like a premium drink. The bottle is lovely, with a pearlescent butterfly front and center. At 111 proof it promises cask strength goodness and a rich, mahogany color that suggests it had plenty of time to sit and think about what it did in oak barrels.

The smell off the top is unmistakably boozy but complex. There’s a lot of fruit hiding under the grain, along with a little spice. Maybe nutmeg? Cinnamon? Something comforting.

There’s some definite heat involved which, at 55.5 percent alcohol, duh. But it’s not overpowering and there are plenty of intricate flavors underneath. Some of those sweet stone fruits, a little spice and some dry sugar to close things out. There’s a little bit of cinnamon toast to the whole proceeding, which you have to search for but I swear it’s there.

It’s good bourbon. Maybe not $100 bourbon, but that’s the world we live in. I’m gonna add an ice cube because that’s a thing I enjoy. Feel free to mock me.

Blue Run high rye whiskey on ice: B+

The ice softens the profile without taking away those deeply ingrained flavors. That makes a heavy spirit easier to sip, though you don’t get quite the same profile and intensity of the unadjusted pour. I like it roughly as much as the straight pour; you lose some of the stuff that makes it interesting, but it’s an easier, smoother sip with solid replay value. As long as you have at least $85 (depending on your local package store) for the next bottle.

The question isn’t whether Blue Run is good. A bunch of rich executives got together and ensured it would be, at the very least, above average. The question is whether it’s worth premium sneaker prices and the hype of bourbon’s next big thing.

After drinking a similar new(ish), high-priced bottle in Kentucky Owl, I’m not sure it is. It’s a proper sip that fits alongside ryes at half the price. If you’re asking me whether I’d buy this at $100 or Limousin Rye for $35 to $45, I’m gonna roll with Limousin every time.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Blue Run High Rye over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Oh, absolutely. But I could get 200 cans of Hamm’s for the starting price of a Blue Run bottle, so this feels… unfair.

Whisky of the Week: Glenglassaugh is the unkillable scotch and its revival is well earned

Glenglassaugh is back in business with a major marketing push. Are their malts worth it?

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Glenglassaugh has a classic scotch story — one that nearly ended multiple times. It was one of Scotland’s many coastal distilleries, a whisky mill in a classic stone building turning water into something better. The northeastern fishing town, a breezy mix of salt and sand, saw its brewer shutter its doors twice since its 1875 founding. Once in 1908 and once as it faced the hardships of the whisky crash of the 1980s.

But the stills roared back to life in 2008. Now, a little more than 15 years later, Glenglassaugh has pushed its way back onto the marketplace with a proper dram. 2023 marked an aggressive marking strategy revolving around a new 12-year whisky to complement the distillery’s other standbys. Its place as a coastal Highland suggests it could hit the sweet spot between the inland’s smoother, full-bodied malts and Islay’s salty, smoky, brassy offerings.

I love both those styles. Let’s see how Glenglassaugh holds up.

Beverage of the Week: Terry Bradshaw’s bourbon isn’t quite a Failure to Launch

… but it’s a two-year old bourbon that needs a little extra barrel time.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

First off, allow me to apologize for a headline referencing a terrible movie from nearly two decades ago. I am referring to, of course, the classic 2006 vehicle Failure to Launch starring Matthew McConaughey (playing, boldly, Matthew McConaughey) and Terry Bradshaw (playing, boldly, Terry Bradshaw). It’s just that a review of Sammy Hagar’s rum got a nice traffic rub by dropping a “can’t drive 55” line in there and, well, your boy needs those clicks.

But yes, Bradshaw is the latest celebrity to wade into the crowded pool of famous folks hawking alcohol. His Bradshaw Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. The Hall of Fame quarterback, significantly less than that country singer, surprisingly prolific 2000s film actor and pre/post-game show staple is a man of many talents, and now he’s stepping into the malt game — or at least lending his reputation to it.

That that reputation … phew. Bradshaw’s Super Bowl accolades are all over this dang thing. The bottle only has three printed labels and his NFL titles are mentioned four times. This bottle drops “IX, X, XII, XIV” like a typical episode of Lost threw out “four, eight, 15, 16, 23 and 42.”

This also provides hope. Bradshaw’s a southern man with a history of success. Of course he’s gonna know bourbon. His malt should lie on the upper spectrum of celebrity alcohols.

On that scale, some are pretty great, like Blake Lively’s Betty Booze. Others fall flat, like Hagar’s Beach Bar canned cocktails. Let’s see where Terry fits.

Weird New Food and Drink from KFC, Krispy Kreme, French’s, Starbucks and Tamworth Distilling

We look at the latest weird products from fast food companies, a coffee chain and a distillery. Plus: Why you should care.

Every week, new food products come to market and some of them— healthy snacks, oddball drinks, fast food experiments, and a few novelty knickknacks — are creative enough to demand attention. Below we’ve put the spotlight on recently released products that made us either smile or do a double-take. Note: we haven’t tasted them… yet.

Whiskey Made with Crabs

Full name: Tamworth Distilling Crab Trapper

Why you should care: This New Hampshire company has teamed up with folks from the University of New Hampshire to create a green crab-flavored whiskey. Why green crabs? Because they’re delicious? Not really; the crustaceans are damaging New England’s coastal ecosystem. And making whiskey out of the critters is a form of sustainable population control. The final product, made with a bourbon base, is 51 percent ABV and is said to have notes of maple, vanilla, and caramel on the nose, followed by cinnamon, clove, and all-spice. Maybe a little brine too?

Price: $65 per bottle, available at Seelbachs.com and shop.tamworthdistilling.com.

Crab-Trapper whiskeyPhoto: Tamworth Distilling

Ketchup Ice Pops

Full name: French’s Frenchsicles

Why you should care: Rarely has ketchup been promoted to lead role in the culinary world. But times change. Voila: French’s is working with the Canadian ice pop brand Happy Pops to create ketchup ice pops, which is just what it sounds like: condiment frozen on stick and described as a delicious salty-sweet mashup. Currently, they’re only available as giveaways (and in Canada only). But you never know. French’s has already launched a mustard ice cream in the states. Could ketchup be next?

Price: Free if you can find it in Canada

Scents to Spray on Ice Cream

Full name: Salt & Straw Culinary Perfumes

Why you should care: Oregon-based ice cream company Salt & Straw teamed up with Portland perfumery Imaginary Authors to release three ice cream “perfumes.” The flavors/scents include A Cloud of Cocoa (notes of Ecuadorian chocolate, malted milkshake, and Japanese whisky), A Plume of Blumes (honeysuckle and jasmine), and A Swoon of Citrus (the tartness of citrus balanced with the herbal undertones of an entire orchard).  The products launch online and as a topping in shops starting July 17th, National Ice Cream Day. You can sign up for the waitlist by visiting the site. Smell ya later.

Price: $65 for a 65 mL bottle, $48 for a trio of 10 mL travel-sized bottles. Available at Salt & Straw’s scoop shops and online 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CfIOp0TuTLo/

 

KFC Finger Sporks

Full name: KFC Finger Sporks

Why you should care: According to the company formerly owned by Colonel Sanders, this is a “new ergonomic and gastronomic piece of tableware-tech” that will finally make KFC’s sides as finger-lickin’ good as its fried chicken. Ok, that may be a stretch, but they’re certainly the most useful culinary finger puppets we’ve seen and they will help you scoop out your mac & cheese, corn, and mashed potatoes (though this was never actually a problem). They’ve also produced a kitschy video to promote their “revolutionary eating device.” See video below.

Price:  Free for anyone who orders a KFC Sides Lovers Meal in person, online, in app, or at participating locations between June 21 and July 12 (while supplies last). 

 

Krispy Kreme Ice Cream

Full name: Krispy Kreme Original Glazed Soft Serve Ice Cream (and Shakes)

Why you should care: For the first time ever, Krispy Kreme now offers Original Glazed Soft Serve Ice Cream — made with ingredients from Krispy Kreme’s secret Original Glazed Doughnut recipe, including its iconic glaze flavor, as well as real whole milk. The confection’s available in waffle cones —  made with Krispy Kreme’s doughnut mix and glaze flavor and cups —  in three flavors: plain Original Glazed, Strawberry Iced Sprinkled, or Chocolate Iced. It’s also offering shakes designed to taste like Krispy Kreme doughnut varieties: Original Glazed, Strawberry Iced Sprinkled, Chocolate Iced, Lemon Filled, Cookies & Kreme, Birthday Batter, and Coffee & Kreme. Your summer diet plan will just have to wait.

Price: Products are available in-shop and drive-thru only (for details and to search for a store near you, check out their online store)

Krispy Kreme Ice Cream

Photo: Krispy Kreme

 

Starbucks’ First Fried Chicken Sandwich 

Full name: Starbucks Chicken Maple Butter and Egg Sandwich

Why you should care: Almost every other fast-food chain has introduced some kind of fried chicken sandwich — Wendy’s, McDonald’s, Popeyes, KFC, you name it. Now, finally, Starbucks jumps into the game with this breakfast item featuring breaded white meat chicken, fluffy eggs, and maple butter on a toasted oat biscuit roll. As you might expect, Youtubers have already pounced on the opportunity to review the thing.

Price: $5.93 including tax (in New York)

Peyton Manning, Michelob Ultra drinker, would like you to buy his $200 bourbon

I am skeptical about this bourbon. It screams pandering to a demographic willing to pay whatever it takes to get a Vineyard Vines whale monogrammed on their golf bag. Manning says the 13-year blended malt, which experts speculate is from the George Dickel distillery in Tennessee, is pretty good. Of course, in the same Indy Star article where he talks about his new liquor he also admits to getting heavily into Michelob Ultra.

Peyton Manning has never met a grind he didn’t embrace. Football, sure, but even in his playing days he was opening up pizza chains and hawking DirecTV with shocking efficiency. Now he’s on to his latest venture: whiskey.

Well, not just whiskey. Bourbon. Specifically, bourbon for rich dads.

Behold, Sweetens Cove, the $200 bottle with the janky Muppet-ly name. Manning saw a path paved by celebrities like George Clooney and Jay-Z and, uh, Fuzzy Zoeller and decided this was the perfect venture to add to his already-packed portfolio. And so he, along with Andy Roddick, decided to make his own whiskey based on a nine-hole golf course whose unspoken rule is a shot of bourbon before the first tee.

Ok, fine. I get the hustle. I even get Manning doing the legwork to cold call Indiana liquor stores to coerce them into stocking his signature booze. Who in the Hoosier State is going to say no to Peyton Manning?

There’s wisdom in getting involved in the spirits game. Conor McGregor’s stake in Proper Twelve Irish Whiskey has ensured lawyer money to save him from various legal scrapes long after he’s finished losing fights in the octagon. The increasing valuation of desired bourbons like Pappy Van Winkle has created a market for selling and reselling similar to the sport card bubble, only with a product you can drink when you lose thousands of dollars as the market deflates. Hell, I can’t find Blanton’s anywhere in the state of Wisconsin because adherents have effectively tripled the MSRP on every bottle.

But man, I am skeptical as hell about this bourbon. It screams pandering to a demographic willing to pay whatever it takes to get a Vineyard Vines whale monogrammed on their golf bag. Manning says the 13-year blended malt, which experts speculate is from the George Dickel distillery in Tennessee, is pretty good. Of course, in the same Indy Star article where he talks about his new liquor he also admits to getting heavily into Michelob Ultra.

For the most part, though, Manning calls himself an “authentic beer drinker.” He has rotated from heavy beer to light beer and now, 45 years old, Michelob Ultra has been a dear friend to him, he said.

Michelob Ultra is actively marketed to marathoners, fitness dorks, and anyone else who feels a bottle of High Life is “too heavy.” Holding a can is a warning that you will, unprompted, tell a stranger about that killer WOD you had this morning. Then follow that with “oh, I’m sorry, WOD is workout of the day. It’s a CrossFit thing.” The beverage itself is as satisfying as someone describing a beer over a choppy Zoom call.

Then there’s the cost; the man with the fridge stocked with Michelob — the guy who went to school where they proudly drink their corn from a jar — would like you to buy a $200 blended bourbon. For the same price as one fifth I could pick up four bottles of Old Forester 1920 Prohibition Style Whiskey or, if you’re more into peaty Scotches, three bottles of Lagavulin 16 (it’s Wisconsin. Booze is cheap. Bars outnumber churches). Esquire says it’s overpriced but also better than Scottie Pippen’s bourbon or Nick Jonas’s tequila, so … take that how you will.

Ultimately it’s probably a pretty good malt — it’s aged like a premium spirit and blended by master distiller Marianne Eaves, who most connoisseurs agree rules — that retails for twice as much as what it’s worth because a Hall of Famer called up your local liquor store, worked “Omaha” and “laser rocket arm” into a three-minute conversation, and found a spot on the top shelf where the Stagg and Black Maple Hill used to be. Every pour comes with a story about how this is “Peyton Manning’s whiskey” and how it fits equally as well on a golf course or in a hunting lodge in front of a roaring fire. It is a whiskey designed to impress your boss or father-in-law. It is bottled clout.

Hell, maybe that’s worth it for you.