Beverage of the Week: Terry Bradshaw’s bourbon isn’t quite a Failure to Launch

… but it’s a two-year old bourbon that needs a little extra barrel time.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

First off, allow me to apologize for a headline referencing a terrible movie from nearly two decades ago. I am referring to, of course, the classic 2006 vehicle Failure to Launch starring Matthew McConaughey (playing, boldly, Matthew McConaughey) and Terry Bradshaw (playing, boldly, Terry Bradshaw). It’s just that a review of Sammy Hagar’s rum got a nice traffic rub by dropping a “can’t drive 55” line in there and, well, your boy needs those clicks.

But yes, Bradshaw is the latest celebrity to wade into the crowded pool of famous folks hawking alcohol. His Bradshaw Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. The Hall of Fame quarterback, significantly less than that country singer, surprisingly prolific 2000s film actor and pre/post-game show staple is a man of many talents, and now he’s stepping into the malt game — or at least lending his reputation to it.

That that reputation … phew. Bradshaw’s Super Bowl accolades are all over this dang thing. The bottle only has three printed labels and his NFL titles are mentioned four times. This bottle drops “IX, X, XII, XIV” like a typical episode of Lost threw out “four, eight, 15, 16, 23 and 42.”

This also provides hope. Bradshaw’s a southern man with a history of success. Of course he’s gonna know bourbon. His malt should lie on the upper spectrum of celebrity alcohols.

On that scale, some are pretty great, like Blake Lively’s Betty Booze. Others fall flat, like Hagar’s Beach Bar canned cocktails. Let’s see where Terry fits.