The old fashioned is a drink for the people. But last week, a frankly disturbing viral video showed how it can be weaponized by the worst people at the bar: the hipster doofus.
Some guy on TikTok — I’m not going to further dignify his desperate plea for attention by naming him — posted a video of an entirely too formal craft bartender taking entirely too long to make what promises to be a thoroughly underwhelming cocktail. There isn’t a single word spoken in the two-minute, 21-second video. It still feels like an hour-long lecture at the Community College of Alienating Friends and Disturbing Customers.
How much do you think you’re getting charged for this Old Fashioned pic.twitter.com/ozxAi9vzOL
— James (@JamesDGrambo) May 9, 2023
This “perfect old fashioned” somehow takes a drink that can be made properly a thousand different ways and makes it wrong. It’s a minutes-long process for a beverage any dive bartender in the state of Wisconsin can make 10 times faster while tasting 10 times better. And while that brings up the debate on traditional vs. midwestern, bourbon vs. rye vs. Dairyland brandy variant and sweet vs. sour, almost every old fashioned drinker can agree: This guy needs to calm the hell down.
So, let’s discuss every aspect of this ridiculous video that’s remained lodged in my brain for the past week.
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