It’s personal for Len Mattiace.
With every school he visits and every student, teacher or parent he meets in conducting his foundation’s anti-bullying campaign, the two-time PGA Tour winner and Nease graduate is speaking from a heart that was broken when he found out that his youngest daughter, Noelle, was bullied for five long years in junior high and high school.
“You get this feeling in the pit of your stomach,” he said. “You know your child is hurting in a big way and you have to find out what to do.”
And while it may seem impossible, Mattiace has a goal with his “Stop the Bullying” initiative: no more.
He said he won’t give up as long as bullies prey on younger, smaller, weaker or otherwise more vulnerable children and youth.
“We’re striving for 100 percent no bullying in Jacksonville,” he said. “Why can’t we be a leading city for having no bullying? Let’s make bullying not cool. Let’s get kids to build up other kids. School should be a safe place. For too many kids, it’s not.”
The campaign’s slogan is “Spring into Kindness,” with three keywords: kindness, compassion and inclusion.
“In another time, when I was a kid, maybe those who were bullied were told to ignore it, or stand up the bully,” he said. “I got bullied because I played golf at a time before Tiger Woods made it cool. I dealt with it. But times are different.”
“When the school systems think it’s safe, I want to get back in there,” he said.
“Everyone has a lot of pent-up frustration, anxiety and uncertainty,” said Michael Huyghue, Mattiace’s agent and a member of his foundation board. “I think Len’s message about bullying is even more important now than ever.”
FOUNDATION INITIALLY EMPHASIZED FIRST TEE
When Mattiace launched his foundation in 2004, capitalizing on his two 2002 victories, followed by the worldwide notoriety he received for the classy way he handled his playoff loss in the 2003 Masters to Mike Weir, he gravitated towards an obvious beneficiary in junior golf.
He has raised more than $500,000 for The First Tee of North Florida, and currently runs a series of nine-hole tournaments called “The First Tee Series,” in which host club members play with First Tee kids. Mattiace also runs a tournament in December at the TPC Sawgrass in which junior golfers play with professionals from the PGA Tour, PGA Tour Champions, Korn Ferry Tour and the LPGA.
Mattiace sponsored an online auction earlier this summer and last week his foundation and more than 40 area golf courses conducted a fundraising campaign in which anyone playing golf could donate $10 to The First Tee.
But 18 months ago, after discovering what his daughter went through, Mattiace went to his board of directors and said he wanted to go in a second direction.
He then launched Stop the Bullying and since has visited eight First Coast schools, from the elementary level to high schools such as Ribault and Atlantic Coast, and as far away as Norcross High School in Atlanta, near the site of a PGA Tour Champions event he played last year.
MATTIACE WANTS TO CREATE A CULTURE OF CARING
Mostly, Mattiace and the kids talk. They discuss how they’re being bullied and he encourages them to come up with their own solutions and advice for other kids. The sessions are booked several weeks in advance and during that time students are asked to make posters or write essays about bullying.
Classes that proved to be the most engaged have their sit-down with Mattiace, who brings gift cards in small amounts to area restaurants or has pizza parties as a reward for their projects.
Mattiace and PGA Tour Entertainment are currently working on a video that includes comments from the students he has visited, along with messages from members of the Jaguars and other athletes, which he hopes will be shown area-wide in all schools when approved by the respective boards of education.
“What Len is doing is so needed right now,” said Jillian Foss, an employee benefits adviser for BKS Partners who is on the Mattiace Foundation board. “He puts the time in with the kids and he makes sure they’re the ones coming up with the ideas. It’s about creating a culture that we should be kind, caring individuals who value each other and make it so the bully is the one who is sticking out, and not cool.”
Huyghue said Mattiace’s personal touch resonates more than just writing a check.
“He could have just sent money but he’s on the firing line, investing himself personally,” Huyghue said. “I thought starting the program was incredibly insightful on his part. A lot of golfers are insular. They grew up playing golf at a young age and most of their time is spent on the golf course. Social justice issues just aren’t as real for some of them in the world they live in.”
Mattiace’s background actually wasn’t much different. He also grew up playing golf, his family had a membership at the TPC Sawgrass and after winning the state high school championship in 1984 and becoming an All-American at Wake Forest, he went on to earn nearly $7 million on the PGA Tour.
He lived the Tour star life, buying his family a home in a gated golf course community and sending his two daughters to private schools.
But when Noelle finally admitted to him that she was undergoing her ordeal, it shook him to the core.
BULLYING INCREASES SUICIDE RATES
Mattiace said he has been told that bullying isn’t life or death, that it’s perhaps an unfortunate but inevitable part of growing up.
“Some people say it’s kids being kids,” he said. “I hear that a lot.”
But he arms himself with the facts, which show the depth of bullying and its effects in the U.S. are staggering:
• According to the National Center for Education Statistics, which provides data to the U.S. Department of Education and the Department of Justice, more than one in five students (21 percent) reported being bullied at school, which impacts more than 5 million youth annually.
• Youth who are bullied experience increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep deprivation, lower academic achievement and dropping out of the school, according to the CDC. The CDC also said in a 2018 study that bullying is the most frequently reported disciplinary problem in public schools, with 12 percent of all schools reporting at least one incident per week.
• According to a 2018 study by researchers Sameer Hinduja of Florida Atlantic University and Justin W. Patchin of the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire, students who are bullied are nearly twice as likely to attempt suicide.
The CDC reported in a 2017 study that suicide is the second-leading cause of death for individuals between the ages of 10 and 34.
Kirk Smalley, the co-founder and CEO of Stand for the Silent, an organization devoted to anti-bullying that has reached more than 1.62 million students through online or classroom interaction, has been consulted by
Mattiace on making presentations to students and said he’s the first PGA Tour player he knows if who has gotten involved in the campaign.
“We’ve had Major League Baseball players, hockey players and football players,” said Smalley, whose son committed suicide when he was 11 years old after being bullied. “We even had [pro wrestler] Roddy Piper help us because he said he played a bad guy in wrestling but he actually loved people, loved kids and wanted to help. Len is the first golfer we’ve ever heard of get involved in this and we’re thankful for that.”
SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES BULLYING 24/7
Forms of bullying also have changed. Physical violence still exists but the internet and social media have given bullies new outlets for their abuse, which Mattiace said was a big part of his daughter’s experience.
“Kids used to be able to escape the bullies when they left school and went home,” Mattiace said. “But the cyber-bullying can be 24/7. Kids can’t get away from it. And even if a kid makes the decision not to go on social media, they get told about it … ‘hey, did you hear what so-and-so said about you on Twitter?’ It’s a very bad scene.”
Here’s how bad: Nearly 60 percent of U.S. teenagers report being bullied or otherwise harassed online, according to the Pew Research Center.
Smalley said a study by Humanity Rising, a youth advocacy organization based in Chicago that is also involved in anti-bullying, estimated that cyberbullying has increased as much as 75 percent during the coronavirus pandemic.
“Kids have had all this free time on their hands and the stress levels being where they are, some of them are lashing out at others,” Smalley said. “The virus, the protests … kids know, they hear, they see. You can’t keep them in a bubble and keep all the bad from them.”
Mattiace said he wants to get back into schools as soon as he can, given the coronavirus pandemic. One of his goals is to bring a one-man theatrical performance “Bully,” to area schools. The play was written and stars Lee Kaplan, a Bolles graduate who experienced bullying in school.
“We had one scheduled this spring before the schools closed,” Mattiace said. “We’re hopeful of bringing Lee back at some point during the school year.”
Noelle Mattiace is now a sophomore at Merrimack College in Massachusetts and has accompanied her father to some of his appearances at area schools.
“She’s doing very well,” he said. “She’s come a long way. When I was bullied, it sort of bounced off me, as it does a lot of kids. It didn’t bounce off Noelle. She had two parents who were very supportive but she internalized everything and until we found out, she was in a very dark, very low place.”
Mattiace is determined that as few kids as possible that he reaches get to that low place in the future.
BULLYING: WHERE TO GET HELP
With students scheduled to return to school next month — the first time they may have been in classrooms since March — there are numerous resources for kids and parents to use in cases of bullying.
• Stand for the Silent, which has hosted anti-bullying programs in more than 1,500 U.S. schools, reaching more than 1.62 million students.
• The Len Mattiace Foundation, which has hosted anti-bullying programs on the First Coast.
• StopBullying.gov.
• The STOMP out Bullying chat line at stompoutbullying.org.
• The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-246-TALK (8255) and the GLBT National Youth Talkline at 1-800-246-7743.
Stopbullying.gov lists the following warning signs that your child might be undergoing bullying:
• Unexplainable injuries
• Lost or destroyed clothing, books, electronics, or jewelry
• Frequent headaches or stomach aches, feeling sick or faking illness
• Changes in eating habits, like suddenly skipping meals or binge eating. Kids may come home from school hungry because they did not eat lunch.
• Difficulty sleeping or frequent nightmares
• Declining grades, loss of interest in schoolwork, or not wanting to go to school
• Sudden loss of friends or avoidance of social situations
• Feelings of helplessness or decreased self-esteem
• Self-destructive behaviors such as running away from home, harming themselves, or talking about suicide.
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