Bears WR Equanimeous St. Brown has a nonexistent social life because he only goes out after wins

He shouldn’t have tied his night life to the NFL’s worst team!

Amidst the running disaster that is the 2023 Chicago Bears, seemingly no one is making good decisions. And a team led by a struggling Justin Fields is now en route to a second consecutive No. 1 overall draft pick. Its tailspin might only just be beginning.

But while a lot of what the Bears “achieve” on the field doesn’t seem correctable, depth receiver Equanimeous St. Brown should probably adjust some of his off-field plans.

During a recent podcast with The 33rd Team, St. Brown had a frank discussion with his brother, Amon-Ra — a star player for the Detroit Lions. The two eventually started talking about what their social life resembles when they have to play a football game every week. When Equanimeous clarified that he only goes out when the Bears win — who have lost 13 straight games dating back to October 2022 — it was such a sad reveal.

At least he seems to understand it’s a silly thought process:

I’m not going to tell a professional athlete how they should conduct themselves and their routine mid-season. But if you Equanimeous St. Brown wants to cut loose, he should probably do away with this thought process that connects his social life to an inept, incompetent football team’s on-field results.

Because if St. Brown continues down this path, I’m not sure when he’ll go out again.