Dodge. Duck. Dip. Dive. Dodge. Those are the five D’s of dodgeball, made famous by the legendary Patches O’Houlihan, who was a seven-time ADAA All-Star.
Those tips must have been forgotten in the mind of Indianapolis Colts left guard Quenton Nelson, who participated in the dodgeball competition as a part of the Pro Bowl Skills Showdown on Thursday.
Competitive by nature, Nelson was surely in it to win it. As fate would have it, though, the lessons bestowed upon our generation from the great Patches were lost on Nelson. What resulted was him taking a headshot and ultimately letting down his team.
Quenton Nelson getting hit in the face with a dodgeball at the NFL Pro Bowl Skills Competition is as funny as you would imagine pic.twitter.com/Hho3WXdm4E
— Jimmy Clarke (@JimmyClarke) January 24, 2020
Nelson is one of the fiercest competitors in the game. Some have even compared his talents to that of the generational Fran Stalinovskovichdavidovitchsky—also known as the “the deadliest woman on earth with a dodgeball.”
Even with all that talent, Nelson’s came up short. Many were hoping he would be able to pull off an improbable feat like Gordon did when he went on a berserker rage in the semi-finals against the Poughkeepsie State Flying Cougars.
Unfortunately, the dodgeball gods were not on Nelson’s side this time around.
After being knocked out of the game due to a headshot, Nelson vowed his vengeance. He offered to Venmo $100 to the person that revealed the identity of the opponent that delivered the fatal blow (it appears to be Bears safety Eddie Jackson upon tape review).
$100 Venmo to the first one to tell me who pegged me in the dome #Payback https://t.co/dIl8dgTDnG
— Quenton Nelson (@BigQ56) January 24, 2020
The dodgeball competition is a yearly event at the Pro Bowl and seeing as Nelson is an otherworldly talent, he is likely to be back next year. Now, Nelson will hit the offseason to train hard and prepare for another shot at victory.
As long as he remembers the five D’s of dodgeball and works in some wrench and traffic drills, Nelson should be back with a vengeance.