The Rhode Island Scumbag NFL Locks of the Week: 6-1 on the season and rolling with the Jets

After a 3-1 week, our betting “expert” is 6-1 on the NFL and searching for awful teams Vegas doesn’t know are awful yet.

Since the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, the Rhode Island Scumbag is up something like 70 units with his locks. This is absolutely wild, because he’s only written five articles since then.

Week 2 of the 2022 NFL regular season added more fuel to a truly epic heater. Despite dropping a bet on the New Orleans Saints thanks to Marshon Lattimore’s ejection and Jameis Winston’s overarching Jameis-ness, he still went 3-1 thanks to the Lions win over Washington and both Patriots-Steelers and Giants-Panthers being exactly as boring as expected.

This, mercifully, saves me from the 12-0 start at which he was promised a podcast. It does not, however, save me from the ridicule of a man whose NFL picks last season finished the year at 7-21. Welp, better settle in for my weekly lecture and see what this week’s process is:

My boy Christian D’Andrea has been learning a lot of tough sports betting lessons this year. You don’t lay points on the road when there is a full slate of games to choose from, you don’t back the Steelers vs. the Patriots (I guess he squeaked out a push there) and you should certainly avoid the squarest of square plays by parlaying a small favorite with a high Vegas total. Sharp bettors take underdogs and unders and that is what the Rhode Island Scumbag did (sure, Detroit was a slight favorite). I now sit at 6-1 and am feeling good about the start to the season.

[Ed. Note: 1. it wasn’t a parlay, it was three separate bets that went 1-1-1, which still sucks but slightly less. 2. oh (expletive) he’s referring to himself in the third person now this cannot be good]

This is the time when NFL analysts will start to look at which teams are contenders. That is the direction of the mainstream conversation. We live where most of my 60-yard approach shots end up, in the fringe, baby.

Sports betting is as much about identifying the really bad teams as it is about finding good teams to back. I have identified a few teams that are being overvalued. I’m not wasting time evaluating who is going to win the Super Bowl. I don’t dabble in the futures market. I’m looking to find teams that are really bad.

I also want the public perception of these bad teams to still be somewhat positive. That way, we can bet against these bad teams, but still retain value because the lines haven’t caught up to the utter ineptitude of these squads.

Let’s see who’s utterly inept in Week 3.