There’s no wrong way to make an old fashioned, unless you’re this TikTok bartender

The short pour. The underwhelming bourbon. The superfluous steps. The smirking doofus lecturing us without a word. This video is awful.

The old fashioned is a drink for the people. But last week, a frankly disturbing viral video showed how it can be weaponized by the worst people at the bar: the hipster doofus.

Some guy on TikTok — I’m not going to further dignify his desperate plea for attention by naming him — posted a video of an entirely too formal craft bartender taking entirely too long to make what promises to be a thoroughly underwhelming cocktail. There isn’t a single word spoken in the two-minute, 21-second video. It still feels like an hour-long lecture at the Community College of Alienating Friends and Disturbing Customers.

This “perfect old fashioned” somehow takes a drink that can be made properly a thousand different ways and makes it wrong. It’s a minutes-long process for a beverage any dive bartender in the state of Wisconsin can make 10 times faster while tasting 10 times better. And while that brings up the debate on traditional vs. midwestern, bourbon vs. rye vs. Dairyland brandy variant and sweet vs. sour, almost every old fashioned drinker can agree: This guy needs to calm the hell down.

So, let’s discuss every aspect of this ridiculous video that’s remained lodged in my brain for the past week.

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How the Seattle Kraken amazingly became BookTok’s favorite NHL team

The relationship we didn’t know we needed this postseason.

To say the Seattle Kraken have a devoted fan base is an understatement, but the NHL’s newest team is getting more attention than usual right now thanks to a… community of hardcore fans on TikTok?

As the Kraken prepare to square off against the Dallas Stars for a Game-7 winner-moves-on matchup Monday night, it’s hard to ignore the immaculate vibes they’re bringing to their first-ever playoff series. It’s even harder to ignore the sudden influx of support from a group of TikTok users who are showing sudden interest in the team, and the sport itself, due to the popularity of steamy, hockey-centric romance fiction. Yes, that is a real sentence.

MORE: Snoop Dogg’s bid for Ottawa Senators’ ownership could be just what the NHL needs

So how did this happen? Let’s break it all down:

TikTok account compares Notre Dame to San Francisco 49ers

Is this a fair comparison?

Say what you will about TikTok, but some accounts manage to come up with some creative sports content now and then. One of them is Red Shirt Sports, and they decided to compare NFL teams with a prominent college football program.

We’ll spare you the actual posts and obnoxious music that goes with them, but Twitter account CFB Home took screenshots of some of the comparisons. Naturally, Notre Dame made the cut and drew the San Francisco 49ers. As the comparison goes, both teams dominated in the 20th century but don’t have any recent hardware to show for still being good. They do possess great run games though.

We can’t say of this is inaccurate as the 21st century Irish have paled in comparison to the 20th century Irish. We also know how much the Irish rely on the running game, although steps are being taken to ensure that the offense is more balanced in 2023 and beyond. Sometimes, we have to see our team for what it really is.

Contact/Follow us @IrishWireND on Twitter, and like our page on Facebook to follow ongoing coverage of Notre Dame news, notes, and opinions.

Follow Geoffrey on Twitter: @gfclark89

Kendall Hinton had a perfect response to a viral TikTok about passing in an NFL game

Could an average Joe throw for more than 10 passing yards in an NFL game? Kendall Hinton had a perfect response to that question.

https://twitter.com/Kendall_Hinton2/status/1637935439767306240?s=20

A TikTok video suggesting that an average Joe could throw for more than 10 passing yards in an NFL game has gone viral. The video has reached other social media platforms like Twitter, with more than one million views.

Denver Broncos wide receiver Kendall Hinton stumbled across the video on Twitter earlier this week and had a perfect response: “Ha!💀No sir, it’s a reason they get paid the big bucks.”

Hinton (6-0, 195 pounds) split time between quarterback and wide receiver at Wake Forest before joining the Broncos as an undrafted free agent in 2020. He was a full-time WR by the time he landed in Denver, and he started his NFL career on the team’s practice squad.

During the 2020 season, after all of the Broncos’ quarterbacks were deemed ineligible for a Week 12 showdown with the New Orleans Saints due to COVID-19 protocols, Denver called Hinton up from the practice squad as an emergency QB.

Despite Hinton’s experience at QB in college, it did not go well. The WR completed 1-of-9 passes for 13 yards with two interceptions and no touchdown passes in a 31-3 loss.

But wait, you might say, that’s more than 10 passing yards!

The TikTok video stipulates that screen passes and shovel passes are not allowed. Hinton’s one completion for 13 yards came on a tight end screen:

If Hinton, who threw for 1,504 yards and eight touchdowns in college, can’t throw for more than 10 yards beyond the line of scrimmage in the NFL, neither can the average Joe. Debate settled.

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WM Phoenix Open executive director has more TikTok followers than Rickie Fowler, Ian Poulter

“Just keep three pieces of Oklahoma pecan on the fire and the temperature will be just right.”

SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. – When Chance Cozby isn’t cooking up the game plan to make the WM Phoenix Open bigger and better, he can be found on social media platforms cooking up a storm for his millions of followers.

Cozby, the 47-year-old executive director of the Thunderbirds, the host organization that runs the WM Phoenix Open, has more than 1 million followers between TikTok and Instagram and garnered over 12.2 million likes on his TikTok channel, 3 Pieces of Pecan.

The name is an homage to his father, Jerry, the head pro for 42 years at Hillcrest Country Club in Bartlesville, Oklahoma (and 2012 Golfweek Father of the Year), who died in August 2020.  Chance’s love of food and cooking stems from childhood Mondays spent on the back patio when his father had the day off and they’d smoke ribs on their custom-built, offset smoker. It didn’t have a temperature gauge, but that wasn’t a problem for Jerry, who instructed his son to “just keep three pieces of Oklahoma pecan on the fire and the temperature will be just right.”

Cozby’s mother, Karoline, taught him how to cook in the kitchen and also inspired his love of cooking. Preparing big meals and gathering friends and family together has always been one of his passions. On New Year’s Eve 2020, Cozby’s youngest son, Catcher, convinced him to let him film and post his family meal prep. Cozby didn’t even have a TikTok account so they needed a handle.

“It took 10 seconds to decide,” Cozby said. “We need to name it 3 Pieces of Pecan after dad.”

Simple meals and dishes such as one pot spaghetti, “roasted broccoli even your kids will eat” and salsa have been big hits. He’s racked up over 200 million views with his takes on Tex-Mex and traditional Oklahoma BBQ, and officially hit the big time when ABC’s “Good Morning America” called and asked to come to the house to film a Father’s Day segment.

“I thought it was a joke,” Cozby said. (He also invited Golf.com to his home last year.)

What began as a lark has become a fun hobby for father and son, who pump out an average of 1-3 videos per week depending on how busy Cozby’s schedule is. (Catcher is director, cinematographer and video editor of the team.)

Golf has been a family affair for the Cozbys, known as the “the first family of Oklahoma golf.” In addition to father Jerry being inducted in the PGA Hall of Fame, Chance’s brother Cary is the director of golf at Southern Hills in Tulsa, Oklahoma, and the 2016 PGA Professional of the Year, and Craig, a two-time University of Oklahoma All-American, is a sales representative with Ping, where Chance formerly worked. But there’s only one celebrity chef in the family.

“Last year, I did a themed dish for every event on the PGA Tour,” Chance said, including one video for every day of the Phoenix Open. “They all sent me a T-shirt or hoodie that I wore in the videos and it was just a cool way to promote the PGA Tour and intertwine my work with my passion. And it probably helped me get some followers too.”

Not to mention more than 50 million page views for that series of videos alone. As Cozby put it, the best plan was no plan.

“At the start you’re just trying to do something fun with your kid,” he told Golf.com. “There were no monetary goals. There were no goals, period. I’ve had a lot of people say, because of you, I’m now cooking a couple meals a week for my family. I think that’s pretty cool.”

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Joe Burrow thirst is raging on TikTok and y’all should be ashamed

If your TikTok feed is nothing but Joe Burrow infatuation, you’re not alone.

To say Joe Burrow is having a moment isn’t just an understatement — it’s misleading.

Burrow’s “moment” has lasted years at this point, both for his talent and ability to bounce back, and his star isn’t fading anytime soon. The Bengals quarterback is leading Cincinnati back to the AFC Championship game for the second year in a row with hopes of another shot at a Super Bowl appearance (not to mention another shot at being the first Heisman-winning quarterback to claim a national championship AND a Super Bowl win).

But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here because my TikTok feed, which is usually a healthy mix of kitchen hacks, makeup tutorials and dated millennial humor, is now an endless, shameless stream of Joe Burrow smut.

And it’s time to get a grip.

How is this poor man supposed to focus on football knowing someone’s out there making yet another slo-mo “Big Boy” edit of him in that floral suit? How can he be expected to get through warmups when all it takes is a verse from “WAP” and a two-second shot of a deep lunge to whip Beyonce’s internet into a lustful frenzy?

It doesn’t matter that he was born with a jawline that could cut glass or that his tailor deserves a medal for what he can do with a fitted blazer. What matters is some of us are trying to live our lives in peace and it’s not easy when the algorithm has been HIJACKED BY SIN.

Don’t believe me? See for yourself. You might want to watch a few of these more than once. For journalism reasons.

Manning brothers hilariously recreate Zoolander TikTok meme to promote Pro Bowl Games

Bruh!

Peyton and Eli Manning channeled the spirit of Derek Zoolander to help promote the upcoming Pro Bowl Games.

The Manning brothers recreated a popular, Zoolander-inspired TikTok meme that’s been buzzing around on the social media app.

In the video, you’ll see the Mannings engage in a very silly faux-standoff, with one Manning taking offense to the other calling him “brah”. The two pull out their best Zoolander serious modeling faces, smoldering with the same energy that would make Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson proud. At the very least, this short video is tremendously better than the second Zoolander movie.

The Mannings have never shied away from their funny bones, and this TikTok meme recreation is just another example of how the former NFL quarterbacks have kept their personas going after their playing days ended.

Peyton and Eli Manning will coach the AFC and NFC in the Pro Bowl Games once they commence Sunday, Feb. 5.

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Seahawks QB Geno Smith gets a great fan-made ’30 for 30′ hype video

We don’t have a whole lot of comparisons for what Geno Smith is doing this season.

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We don’t have a whole lot of comparisons for what Geno Smith is doing this season. For any quarterback to struggle their first two years, play backup for six and then suddenly become a top-five talent is some rare territory.

How do we celebrate a QB who hasn’t had any real hype going since he first entered the league in 2013? One fan came up with a good idea. Here’s how Smith’s 30 for 30 promo might go…

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Hitting golf ball into Grand Canyon draws paltry fine for TikTok star

Commenters online were critical of the fine TikTok star Katie Sigmond received for her actions, believing the fine did not fit the crime.

Facing a potential fine of $5,000 and six months in prison, TikTok star Katie Sigmond only paid a fine of $285 for hitting a golf ball into the Grand Canyon, an amount that didn’t sit well with online commenters who didn’t believe the fine fit the crime.

In October, Sigmond posted video online showing her hitting the golf ball into the canyon near Mather Point; the club flew off the handle and also went into the canyon.

Subsequently, she took down the video, but it was preserved on Reddit

Law enforcement subsequently tracked her down and she was charged with three Class B misdemeanors, as reported by The Arizona Republic:

She was only cited for disorderly conduct and tossing or throwing items into the canyon, which carry a maximum fine of $5,000 and six months in prison, according to a copy of the written record of the collateral forfeiture agreement that the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Arizona provided to The Arizona Republic.

Sigmond was ordered to pay a $285 fine, which includes $60 in processing fees. A spokesman for the Administrative Office of the U.S. Courts confirmed to The Republic that the Central Violations Bureau received two payments of $155 and $130 from Katie Sigmond on Nov. 15.

Not surprisingly, commenters were critical over the amount of the fine.

Among the comments on the Grand Canyon National Park Facebook page, the Arizona Republic Facebook page and Katie Sigmond’s Instagram account:

“Please increase the penalty for littering or pulling stupid stunts to deter further damage. Less than $300 is not a deterrent.”

“Should’ve given max fine of $5k.”

“Still cheaper than a meal and a few drinks at Top Golf.”

“A trip to Disneyland cost more than her fine.”

Also on FTW Outdoors: No shortage of stupidity when humans meet elk (video)

“Let’s see. Fine her a few hundred dollars while she made $1000s off of the video. Act naive about it. Real smart business she has going on.”

“Should have locked her up.”

“Too bad she didn’t get the full 5k fine.

“She got off cheap. I thought it was $1,000 fine to litter.”

Sigmond has 6.9 million followers on TikTok and another 3 million on Instagram.

 

 

 

 

TikTok Theory: The Chinese Restaurant 3.5 Star Rule

For nearly 100 years, the star system has been a straightforward way to gauge how good a restaurant is: more is better. No confusion there. No nuance, either. In mid-September, however, @rocketjump proffered an unusual spin on stars; he posted a …

For nearly 100 years, the star system has been a straightforward way to gauge how good a restaurant is: more is better. No confusion there. No nuance, either. In mid-September, however, @rocketjump proffered an unusual spin on stars; he posted a video on TikTok explaining why he only goes to Chinese restaurants that get 3.5 stars out of 5 on Yelp. An analysis follows the 50-second video below.

@rocketjump

Why I only go to Chinese restaurants with 3.5 star ratings

♬ original sound – RocketJump

 

The thrust of his argument: Any Chinese restaurant in a major metropolitan area that gets 4 or 5 stars has appeased non-Chinese cultures by rewarding eateries for great service — something he is convinced correlates to mediocre food. In his opinion, you want to go to the 3.5-star ranked spots where the food is most authentic — and delicious — because the establishment focuses on flavor, not service. At 5-star joints, the service is “too good.” The food is “not as good as it could be.” And “too many white people like it.”

It’s all about cultural expectations of service. Generalizing madly but convincingly, he says that you want to go to places where the waiters are rude, and they’re not going to pay attention to you, but the food will taste better.

His theory leans heavily on the idea that in Asia, food servers are not as proactive and they’re not going to just come to your table to give your refills. You’ll need to flag them down. At the same time, people on Yelp are “insufferable.” They’re knocking restaurants because the service is bad. In the end, the food balances it out. “So you end up at 3 and a half stars,” he explains.

Testing the Theory

Is he right? Is there any way to measure it? One woman from Queens, New York — @crabby_jackieee — applied his theory to her favorite Chinese restaurants and, lo and behold, she reports the hack is spot on (the video starts with @rocketjump and she jumps in after five seconds).

@crabby_jackieee

#stitch with @rocketjump the 3.5 star theory has been proven #chinese #chineserestaurant #nyc #olaflex #realchinesefood #queens

♬ original sound – Jackie R. Chan

To test the system myself, I googled “best Chinese restaurants near me,” and pored over the results. Interestingly, of the top 10, only one had 3.5 stars — Bonnie’s, which also happened to have appeared in Bon Appetit’s “50 Best New Restaurants” article recently. Coincidence? I think not.

Bonnies Restaurant NYC Chinese Food