University of Wisconsin wouldn’t let J.J. Watt buy every graduate a beer when he was commencement speaker

“I want to put a Spotted Cow under every single seat in the stadium. I’ll pay for it all.”

Wisconsin is home to some of the best beer in the world. It’s also the starting point for some of the greatest football players in the NFL.

So when the University of Wisconsin asked former Badger All-American and future NFL Hall of Famer J.J. Watt to speak at the school’s graduation ceremony in 2019, he made the logical decision to combine the two. Watt’s big idea to make his commencement speech legendary was an extremely Wisconsin one. He was gonna buy a beer for every matriculating student at Camp Randall Stadium that afternoon.

Not just any beer, either. New Glarus Brewery’s famed Spotted Cow farmhouse ale. But since Camp Randall is only known for housing drunk students and not making them that way (and a bunch of legal issues), the university shot down the idea.

Here’s Watt telling his story to Chris Long on Long’s Green Light podcast.

“I was talking to the university and I really wanted to do something special and cool. I was trying to find a way to make [my speech] memorable,” Watt told Long.

“I was talking to the university and said this is what I want to do. Spotted Cow is the best beer in Wisconsin. It’s incredible. I want to put a Spotted Cow under every single seat in the stadium. I’ll pay for it all … but at the end of the commencement speech I’m gonna say ‘now to congratulate you, just reach under your seat and have a cold one on me.’

“And then [UW management] were like ‘yeah, we can’t do that legally.'”

It’s a great story, even if Spotted Cow isn’t even the best beer New Glarus makes (it’s probably top 10 though, just because everything they do is awesome. Particularly the Oktoberfest, which goes perfectly with college football. Just saying). Watt tried to come up with a compromise that would instead give each grad a free beer at the Terrace at Memorial Union — the lakeside student center/beer cellar that should be a selling point for any prospective Wisconsin student — but had that idea shot down as well.

It’s a bummer, but knowing UW students it’s safe to suggest they probably found other ways to procure beer that weekend. And every weekend that followed, until the heat death of the universe.

Former Saints fullback John Kuhn enters quarantine with good humor, stocked fridge

John Kuhn is sheltering at home against the coronavirus, and the former New Orleans Saints and Green Bay Packers fullback is fully prepared.

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John Kuhn didn’t play very long for the New Orleans Saints, having worn black and gold in just 18 regular season games against 189 with the Green Bay Packers, but the burly fullback left a great impression on the city and its fanbase. With his charismatic demeanor and easy-to-bellow last name, the Mercedes-Benz Superdome often filled with cheers whenever he took the field.

Now comfortable in retirement, Kuhn is tackling the challenge of the novel coronavirus like many Americans by entering quarantine, self-isolating himself to prevent the spread of infections in his community. And when faced with the prospect of grocery stores limiting sales of pantry staples like bread and milk (and toilet paper), Kuhn did the sensible thing and stocked a refrigerator full of beer.

Kuhn shared a look at his hoard from his official Twitter account, which features a nice balance of big-box macrobrewery options (like Bud Lite and Michelob Ultra), a sampling of trendy hard seltzers (Kuhn is playing both sides in the Truly-versus-White Claw debate, a savvy move), and a spread of craft beer offerings. It’s great to see him pay patronage to his Green Bay days with a case of Wisconsin-based Spotted Cow, but his time in New Orleans surely left an impression if the nearly-full shelf of Abita (produced in nearby Covington, La.) is any indication.

Jokes aside — and this is very on-brand for an NFL fullback — it’s also good of Kuhn to use his platform to advocate for following stay-in-place rules issued by local governments. If we’re going to overcome the coronavirus, it’s vital that more people follow Kuhn’s lead and prepare for a lengthy stay at home. Whether they choose to keep spare fridge full of adult beverages (to be consumed responsibly, of course) to help pass the time is their decision.

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