Getting help ranking the Big Ten mascots

I went to the only person who could help with something like this!

I’ve never really cared about mascots. I was always more interested in what was taking place on the field than the guy in a knockoff Disney World costume telling me to get fired up for the defense or doing pushups after every score. I’m trying to watch a football game. Could you please stop trying to distract me? I don’t want to have to focus on two things at once, so I simply never paid attention as a result.

So when I decided to rank the Big Ten mascots, I knew I needed help. There’s only one person I could turn to, and that person… is my wife. She’s never seen or heard of most of the mascots, so these rankings are her initial impressions. One thing is clear, college football fans place a lot of emphasis on tradition when it comes to our mascots because, without that knowledge or understanding of that tradition, we get a very different list.

Buckle up Big Ten fans. Things are about to get interesting.