Tag: Omar Gonzalez

Ex-USMNT defender Gonzalez admits he contemplated suicide during difficult period

The veteran defender opened up on his mental health struggles on a podcast

Former U.S. men’s national team defender Omar Gonzalez has opened up on his mental health battle, admitting that he contemplated suicide at various points during a difficult period.

Gonzalez said he started to struggle in the aftermath of the USMNT’s failure to qualify for the 2018 World Cup. The U.S. was eliminated from contention in a stunning defeat at Trinidad and Tobago, with Gonzalez scoring an own goal in 2-1 loss.

“It started I think, just the World Cup, when we didn’t qualify and the own goal,” Gonzalez said on the Major League Journeymen podcast.

“Everything up until that point was wins, championships, just going straight up and consistent. It was amazing and then comes this point and we didn’t qualify [for the World Cup] and then I lose a Copa MX. And then I go to MLS Cup again in 2019 and we lose to Seattle, and losing Canadian Championships. … I started thinking, ‘Is it me? Am I the reason? It just keeps following me.’

“But I was dealing with that just fine, and then came a couple of head injuries and it just sort of made everything worse. And I started forgetting people’s names and then came this period of time where the stress was too much and the head injuries were just compounding, and the stress of being away from home, baby on the way, contract year — everything that goes into it.

“I just started thinking of every single way to just end it. Every part of my day was just thinking of a way to just end it. [I was] just fighting through that, still trying to play at a high level, and still giving everything to the sport and putting on a different face was draining. No one knew about it.

Gonzalez was then asked to clarify if he was talking about ending his career or his life, to which he replied: “My life.

“It was very scary. And I was just dealing with it and going into training, still being myself.”

The 35-year-old said that after a Toronto FC match against NYCFC — a game that actually ended with a positive result — the dam broke and he reached out to get help.

“We’re having a s–t year. We’re in last place, just awful, awful environment,” he said. “The locker room was absolute dogs–t, like it was bad. And we give this great performance for once. We’re down 2-0 at half and we come back and we tie the game up, and we fight and everything.

“But then after the game, everything just came to a head. I just started bawling. I talked to the doctor. I was like ‘I need help, this can’t go on.’

“Then from that from that moment on, things got a lot better just finding help.”

Gonzalez left Toronto to join the New England Revolution in 2022, before signing with his hometown club FC Dallas ahead of the current season. The veteran defender has been capped 52 times by the USMNT, playing at the 2014 World Cup and winning the Gold Cup in 2013 and 2017.

Watch Gonzalez discuss mental health stuggles

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Gonzalez calls Arena absence ‘bizarre’ amid MLS investigation

Arena has been suspended since August 1 pending an MLS investigation

New England Revolution defender Omar González has said he and his teammates are completely in the dark when it comes to the ongoing absence of head coach Bruce Arena.

On August 1, Arena was placed on administrative leave amid a MLS investigation into allegations of “insensitive and inappropriate remarks.”

There have been no updates since the initial announcement, with assistant coach Richie Williams having taken charge as interim head coach.

As the investigation continues, González appeared on CBS’s “Morning Footy” on Thursday to give an update on his team’s mental state.

“First and foremost, the team is together. The locker room is tight,” the veteran defender said in remarks transcribed by The Blazing Musket.

“This did come from left field. It’s just bizarre what’s going on. Still really have no idea what happened, what’s going on. Guys are hoping that Bruce will be back soon and get ready to kick off the second half of the season and continue the way that we’ve been going.

“We’re doing really well. On our best days when everyone is healthy, we can match up against anyone. We can go toe to toe with anyone. We have a talented roster, we play well together, and we’re just a tough team to play against.

“Having Bruce back will help us in the latter part of the season. Everyone is just laser focused right now. We got kicked out of Leagues Cup a little earlier than we’d like. Now we have this time to train, get everyone ready, hopefully get everyone back healthy — no hiccups there — and we can just hit the second half running.”

Under Williams, the Revs advanced past the Leagues Cup round of 32 with a penalty shootout win over Atlas, before falling in another shootout to Querétaro in the last 16.

They return to MLS play next weekend against CF Montréal.

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