If you were hoping to sit in a movie theater and stare at the biggest screen possible as one gigantic ape rode a huge lizard creature towards another gigantic ape riding a huge lizard creature in zero-gravity in Hollow Earth, boy do I have some good new for you.
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire hits theaters this Friday, and it has all the prehistoric mutant animals fighting each other that you could dream up. The fifth entry into the MonsterVerse, The New Empire picks up with King Kong feeling lonely in his Hollow Earth home and Godzilla roaming the surface to eliminate Titan threats.
Godzilla’s unusual behavior — loading up on radiation from a French reactor and tracking down a powerful Arctic Titan — leads Monarch scientists to believe a bigger threat is looming.
That threat is a really mean ape that is running a colony one layer under Hollow Earth, and — you won’t believe it — Kong and Godzilla will have to team up to defeat him.
Look, is this movie good? No. Does it totally rock to see various giant creatures punch each other? Yes.
Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry and Kaylee Hottle all return from Godzilla vs. Kong and are joined by Dan Stevens, who plays a cryptozoologist that is basically Kong’s veterinarian.
Problems are solved pretty easily throughout the movie (need a robotic arm to affix to Kong? Don’t worry, it’s nearby and super mobile), but it doesn’t really matter since the “plot” is really just there to get us to more big fight scenes.
If you’re looking for an Oscar-winning epic with deep meaning and use of allegory, this one might not be for you. If you’re looking to turn off your brain for a couple hours and watch monster fights, you’ll be pleased.
Movie: Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
Release Date: March 29
Director: Adam Wingard
Stars: Rebecca Hall, Brian Tyree Henry, Kaylee Hottle, Dan Stevens
Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars