Come for the hilarious story, stay for the hilarious way the school is excusing the incident.
Sometimes the headline does a lot of the work. This is one of those times.
Max McCaffrey is the offensive coordinator at Northern Colorado, an FCS school where his father Ed, who won three Super Bowls as a wide receiver and is best remembered for his time catching passes from John Elway as a member of the Denver Broncos, is the head coach. Max is the older brother of Christian, star running back for the Carolina Panthers.
During a 40-7 loss at Montana State over the weekend, Max McCaffrey apparently became so enraged about his team’s play (and specifically that of his other brother, QB Dylan) that he broke a clipboard. Then, a fan yelled at him, “Hey coach, maybe you should focus on how small your pants are, rather than breaking a clipboard.”
And then, according to what the apparent intended target told the Denver Post, Max tried to hit the fan with the clipboard. But it was that kind of day for the Bears, and he missed his spot, hitting an older fan several seats away.
No, I have not found a picture of the pants. Yes, please sent one to me ASAP if you have it.
Northern Colorado officials are selling a version of events here that sounds, to be frank, pretty implausible. UNC Athletic Direct Darren Dunn apparently reviewed the incident and decided Max was merely providing a keepsake to the fan. (Or, just maybe, this is an absolute master class in realizing your football coach is actually the boss and his son is untouchable.)
“While Coach McCaffrey’s tossing of a souvenir into the stands showed poor judgement, it was clear there was no intent to harm nor was the action fueled by anger.”
Tossing. Souvenir. No intent to harm. No anger.
Let’s take that all at face value for a very brief moment. How did this interaction play out, exactly?
Max: “Oh, that is quite the exquisite bit of trash talk, random fan. Would you like this broken clipboard as a keepsake from this moment?”
Fan: “Yes, sir. Please toss it to me gently right now, in the second quarter of this game as I am surrounded by other fans, so that I may add it to my collection of sports memorabilia.”
Max: “Of course, friend. Here you — oh dear, I’ve missed. I, too, have been intercepted.” High-pitched, brief chuckle over the irony of the situation. “Sincerest apologies. Must return to calling plays now. Take care, stay safe.”
(It should go without saying, but if the video of the incident supports the idea that it was a souvenir toss, said video should be shared.)
The fan who apparently delivered the taunt, Montana high schooler Max Demarais, suspects he was the target:
“I was very surprised he tried throwing it at me,” Demarais said. “I was one of the only people standing in my section when I said it. I’m guessing he tried throwing it at me. Everyone around me freaked out, and I was just dumbfounded.”
Max on Max violence. Tragic. (Demarais went on to say he wasn’t mad at McCaffrey, but felt the fan who took some unknown fraction of a clipboard to the face deserved an apology.)
Seriously, if you’ve ever wondered how a guy like Urban Meyer exists — a man who thinks he can simply shrug off consequences and lie his way out of every mess — this is it! Max McCaffrey was gifted the job of offensive coordinator at an FCS school after one single year as wide receivers coach (after his stint as an NFL player was marred by suspensions of four and 10 games.)
Now he does something like this and his athletic director excuses it away, allowing Max McCaffrey to go back to influencing — and managing — the young men he’s supposed to be guiding.
We’re left to imagine just how Max McCaffrey’s temper is or is not managed on a daily basis.
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