Tag: Coffee

Celebrate National Coffee Day 2023 with 6 deals and free coffee on Friday

Go get some free or discounted coffee on Friday!

Happy National Coffee Day to all who celebrate — and really, don’t we kind of always celebrate coffee when we take that first sip of the day all the time, especially on Friday, September 29?

Also, why is September 29 National Coffee Day? That’s not what we’re here to answer. You’re here to find out about discounted and free coffee, and we want to get to that as fast as possible so you can enjoy some java that doesn’t cost much.

So let’s stop writing about this mystery and get to the important stuff here: A partial list of joints that we’ve found who will sell you coffee for less than the usual price:

Fine, I’ll drink Will Levis’ mayonnaise coffee, but you better believe I’m adding alcohol

Levis likes to take his coffee with mayonnaise and a side of intestinal distress. Fine. Whatever. I’ll drink it, but I’m adding booze.

I don’t know very much about Kentucky quarterback Will Levis. On the field, sure, I fully accept he is a first round talent in a passer-needy NFL. He escaped Sean Clifford’s shadow at Penn State to become the engine behind the Wildcats’ offense and, despite a relative downturn in UK’s fortunes, has been statistically more proficient in 2022 than he was in his breakout 2021.

Off the field, I am assured he is a maniac. Because, trolling or not, Will Levis drinks coffee like a genuine weirdo. Sugar and cream? Nah. Entirely too much mayonnaise, squirted from a squeeze bottle until it leaves frothy ropes of egg residue floating on top of nightmare sauce? Oh, hell yeah.

@will_levis

I have a very sophisticated pallet. @omgiaaa #fyp #TakeTheDayOffChallenge #BenefitOfBrows

♬ original sound – Will Levis

This may have been expert trolling, but goof or not he’s done it *multiple* times over the course of *multiple* years.

This brings me to the final week of college football’s regular season: rivalry week. What was supposed to be a Tennessee-Vanderbilt tribute has been scrapped in superstitious concern about ruining whatever voodoo Clark Lea has going on the city’s western border. Instead, I will make a sacrifice to the football gods and honor another southern football rivalry with SEC ties: Kentucky-Louisville.

The Governor’s Cup is a cool in-state rivalry that’s been absolute garbage to watch recently. The smallest margin of victory since 2016 in these games was a 27-point Louisville win in 2017. In the last three matchups Kentucky is 3-0 with a 153-44 aggregate score. That’s gross. Is it mayonnaise and whiskey in coffee gross?

Friends, let’s find out.

The Will Levis Irish Coffee

  • 9 oz, coffee
  • 1.5 oz, whiskey
  • 1.5 oz, Irish cream
  • Mayonnaise, any amount

(deep exhale) Hoooo boy. Here we go.

Oh no. The mayonnaise, it doesn’t melt. It doesn’t blend into the coffee. It isn’t a pat of butter, glazing the top of your coffee and making every sip an oily mess.

No, friends. It merely breaks into chunks, leaving your mouth to coordinate its way through an arctic sea of tiny, eggy, mushy icebergs. It is unsettling. And, worst of all, it is a beverage that tastes like mayonnaise.

That’s it. It overwhelms everything. Remember those Orbitz drinks from the mid-90s that had the little gelatin balls in them? Picture that, only warm, and every gelatin ball is in fact a tiny land mine attempting to blast your taste buds into thinking you’re eating a ham sandwich.

I mean, look at this cacophony of taste and texture.

It’s impossible to get past the floating bits of mayonnaise. Underneath there’s a nice, tried-and-true cocktail. But on top is sandwich spread. There’s no way Will Levis actually likes this.

But hey, he tricked me into drinking it, so more power to him. In retaliation, I will be sending him to the New York Jets in my next 2023 mock draft.