The movie Cats is coming out this weekend. Starting with the first glimpse of the trailer, which showed bizarre, nightmarish people-cats played by celebrities, prancing and singing around, it became clear that this movie was going to be something.
Good? Bad? Who knew? But good lord it was going to be something.
The reviews are in now, and yes, this movie SURE IS SOMETHING. It’s also apparently terrible, but in the best kind of way that has reviewers not even bother to hem and haw like they usually do, instead just rejoicing in how terrible this ridiculous movie is.
Look at these fantastic reviews of this terrible movie! Complete with cat puns!
“Oh God, my eyes,” wrote Ty Burr in the Boston Globe.
“This part-people, part-pussycat, faux-feline Hollywood hairball is a me-ouch,” wrote Neil Pond in Parade. ME-OUCH! HE SAID ME-OUCH.
“Woof,” said Adam Graham in Detroit News, in a story that also had the Me-Ouch pun!!
“Even after 110 tumbling, tail-swishing, deeply psychedelic minutes, it’s hard to know if you ever really knew anything – except that C is for Cats, C is for Crazy, and C is probably the grade this cinematic lunacy deserves,” Leah Greenblatt wrote in EW.
We also had Cat-astrophe puns, which, yes please. Look at this one!
Glad to report that Cats is everything you’d hoped for and more: a mesmerisingly ugly fiasco that makes you feel like your brain is being eaten by a parasite. A viewing experience so stressful that it honestly brought on a migraine.
— Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) December 19, 2019
Or this!
Watching CATS is like stumbling upon an unholy and heretofore unknown genre of porn. Every time these horny fur demons tongue a milk bowl and start moaning I was certain the FBI would raid the theater
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) December 19, 2019
Anyway, I can’t wait to see Cats. Everyone go see Cats. Then we can write funny things all together.
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