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A new Starfield mod turns every ship in the space game into Thomas the Tank, a long-running tradition in Bethesda games that might’ve gone too far this time. The “Really Useful Starfield” mod comes from Trainwiz, who took inspiration from Guardly’s “Really Useful Dragons” mod that turns Skyrim dragons into Thomas the Tank (thanks, VG 24/7).
Seeing the dead-eyed Thomas lurking around Tamriel is a bit unsettling, though watching it spew fire does offset the creepy factor a little. It’s just so ridiculous. Starfield Thomas just sort of looms over you menacingly and floats through space as if he’s pondering what crimes to commit next.
“They say that the Tank Engine has been banished to wander the stars forever, unable to satiate his bloodlust and unable to find peace in his heart,” Trainwiz said in the mod description, tapping into the Thomas internet lore that casts the friendly hero of classic children’s stories as some kind of eldritch horror.
“But hey he’s your spaceship now so that’s pretty funny.”
Except it’s only funny until you try to fly a Thomas ship. Aside from distinctly lacking in rizz compared to other Starfield ships, the Thomas crafts have some a serious problem.
Ships in Starfield include multiple parts, with a reactor at the core. Trainwiz turned every reactor into Thomas and expanded the model so it engulfs the rest of the ship. Parts of the actual ship might clip through, but the game still recognizes the Thomas dimensions as solid objects. Starfield was made for sleek spacecraft, not gigantic trains, so flying these things isn’t the easiest. They give your foes a great big monster train-sized hitbox to aim for in dogfights as well, though since they’re also Thomas-sized, the disadvantage goes both ways.
Trainwiz says it’s the price you have to pay, though.
“This mod’s more of a novelty to begin with, so it’s something you have to deal with. Life isn’t always fair.”
Written by Josh Broadwell on behalf of GLHF