A part of me should despise Kevin Durant. Not for any of the reasons people have come up with to hate the immensely entertaining basketball player. But for a far more pathetic reason: He’s so good at posting.
Durant has no business being this good at posting, and yet he is. Being one of the best basketball players of all time wasn’t enough. Winning multiple championships wasn’t enough. Having his own signature shoe and making hundreds of millions of dollars? Not enough. The dude just had to be great at posting, too.
As a person who spends way too much time posting on the internet, and has done none of the things I listed in the previous paragraph, I should be frustrated that KD is so good at Twitter. And yet I’m not, and I think that’s because him engaging in this same activity that sucks up so much of our miserable lives is uplifting in a way.
From the burner thing to Durant arguing with randos on the internet to engaging in online beefs with sports takesmen, the Nets star hasn’t just forayed into the muck along with the rest of us. The man has truly embraced it.
There’s No relax champ. No relax when I’m on Twitter. I’m on 10 until the second I close the app. You relax!!
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) March 23, 2021
— America is musty 2021 (@DragonflyJonez) March 28, 2021
He is just as miserable as the rest of us shouting at each other online. It’s not just me, MOM.
That reply touched my soul. It inspired me. If Kevin Durant, a man who could easily go on about his life without ever logging on, attacks every Twitter session with the intensity you’d think he’d reserved for a Game 7, then what excuse do I have? I need to be better. I need to post MORE.
Some celebrity posters haven’t really earned their social media clout. They are big on Twitter because they are big in real life and, as a result, their tweets get amplified. But Durant’s Twitter presence doesn’t feel nearly as contrived. Even back in the early days of the platform, when people were still trying to figure things out, Durant showed promise.
He showed a dedication to the craft…
You say it's "just Twitter" but is it really "just Twitter"
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) January 13, 2015
Twitter is better than goin to da club…
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) May 9, 2010
He made irrationally bold claims…
@YoungDiplomat i will destroy steph curry in horse lol
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) June 29, 2009
At times, he was lonely…
Man I hate when I go 2 sleep and wake up to no messages…some1 aim me….kevinballa33
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) May 23, 2009
Other times, he was unabashedly horny…
Scarlett johanneson I will drink ur bath water…#random
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) January 17, 2011
He was funny…
I #renenberwhen i got attacked by a dog walkin 2 da bus stop…..i got on da bus and i didnt have no lunch money.i got robbed by a dog…SMH
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) August 28, 2009
He was, at times, entirely too forthcoming…
Bubble guts woke me up out my sleep…I had to check my sheets for any slippage lol
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) July 18, 2011
He tracked the new trends…
The new thing is searching pages and gettin tweets from years ago and retweeting them like they were recent?
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) June 25, 2013
And that was just on main. Just imagine what kind of heat he was firing off from the burners.
Like his basketball skills, Durant’s posting skills have only grown. It’s almost as if they have become one, actually. When he tweets well, he plays well. For instance, he called out Fox Sports’ Shannon Sharpe for getting all worked up about something Durant hadn’t actually said…
Y’all drunk uncle out here lying again. When did I say this @ShannonSharpe ??????????????????????????? https://t.co/698XHOxcYn
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) April 13, 2021
Durant then proceeded to score 31 points in 27 minutes in a 30-point Nets win over the Timberwolves. He then claimed an online W — who’s to say which one was more important — over Sharpe, who had blocked KD.
But I’m sensitive pic.twitter.com/ui2pSX6tCi
— Kevin Durant (@KDTrey5) April 13, 2021
Durant basically told Sharpe he was scared to compete and he wasn’t wrong. Nor was Sharpe for realizing he was out of his depth here. Durant has logged too many hours and sent too many tweets for the old NFL tight end to keep up. Kudos to him for recognizing that.
I don’t know how to end this ridiculous blog, so I’ll do so by just saying thank you, Kevin Durant.
Thank you for showing the world that it’s OK to never log off. I hope you never do.