Ryan Flaherty had a long, if mostly forgettable Major League Baseball career. The former Vanderbilt University standout, a linebacker-sizer shortstop capable of playing every position in the field but catcher, spent eight seasons in the big leagues. He mostly worked as a utility infielder off the bench in late game situations for the Baltimore Orioles, Atlanta Braves, and Cleveland Indians. He made his last appearance in the majors in 2019 and signed on as a scout for the San Diego Padres in 2020.
We’re not here to talk about his .215 career average or 37 home runs. We’re here to talk about the time he convinced Orioles manager Buck Showalter to give him a place on Baltimore’s 25-man roster by bringing two monkeys to throw batting practice during spring training.
Buck Showalter says as part of a talent show one year with the Orioles, Ryan Flaherty brought a pair of monkeys who threw and took batting practice. Showalter says that’s part of why he made the team: “That took guts.”
— Stephanie Apstein (@stephapstein) March 18, 2022
I pushed back on this a little bit. First of all, the monkeys both threw and took BP? Buck says yes: One threw, one hit. Also, shouldn’t Flaherty have been disqualified? What was his talent? Buck: “There were other parts of the presentation.” He declined to elaborate.
— Stephanie Apstein (@stephapstein) March 18, 2022
First off, a massive thank you to Stephanie Apstein of Sports Illustrated for digging into this matter and not letting Showalter off the hook. Secondly …
What?
Ryan Flaherty, a former first round pick with versatile talents, made his first big league roster because he brought monkeys to a talent show? And somehow found a way to coax them into throwing batting practice? And this was not the only aspect to his talent show presentation? AND WE’RE JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS NOW???
This is a story that cannot die. We must stoke the flames of Flaherty’s Monkeygate until we get real answers. What kind of primates are we talking about here; springy, diaper-bound capuchin monkeys, or full-on, playing-baseball-with-Matt-LeBlanc chimpanzees? How did he get them to throw pitches? Did they connect with any of their batting practice swings? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE A MONKEY A WEAPON???
What kind of fines did the Orioles have to pay for allowing monkeys to play baseball? Who paid it? Does bringing primates to practice qualify as “grit” or “hustle” in terms of qualities that don’t show up in the box score? Where does one procure monkeys in Sarasota? How much does it cost to rent them? Can they apply for MLB Players Union membership?
This is a story that will live on in my brain until I die. Ryan Flaherty, former first round draft pick, made his first MLB roster because he brought monkeys to Orioles spring training and impressed a manager who’d been in the league for 14 years and, I can only assume, had never seen anything like that before. Flaherty kicked off his big league career by showcasing the same kind of decision-making skills Homer Simpson did upon learning he was the Chosen One to lead the Stonecutters.
Thank god baseball is back.