Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
Sometime this summer, a 30-pound box arrived on my doorstep. It was bulky and cumbersome and, honestly, a little strange. Inside were three more boxes. Inside those, three plastic bladders; one containing water, the other two containing wine.
This Jesus cube, a collaboration between Essentia alkaline water and House Wine, is meant to walk a fine line. A little booze to get you tipsy and then some purified, ionized water to … well, maybe not bring you back, but at least make your following morning more pleasant.
It came to me with the intent of a summer sensation; a limited-edition offering for pool gatherings and beach days. But since I’ve got a backlog of beverages to drink here (brag), it lingered a bit longer. And since Patrick Mahomes is an official Essentia spokesperson — no word on how he feels about boxed wine, though I’d wager he’s in favor, partically after looking at his wideouts — I turned my attention to a similar social space in need of hydration. The tailgate.
OK, that’s a weird tailgate combo, but I don’t judge. Drink what makes you happy, and if a little rosé is gonna make pre-game better for some folks, hell, have at it. Personally my review of the wine itself is going to be muted because, as I’ve mentioned before, that’s pretty much the one thing I don’t drink. But I’ll do it for the sake of the review — and to figure out if Essentia and House Wine created a viable product or merely a 30 pound curiousity.