Here at For The Win, a very serious place of business, we often have hearty staff debates. About anything, really, but especially food. Simply mentioning that you enjoy a certain salad or cookie or how you take your coffee will turn many of us feral. We’ll react viscerally, baffled that someone, somehow, enjoys a different texture, flavor, mix, what have you.
So in the Halloween spirit, smack dab in the middle of the 2023 NFL season, we decided to compare all 32 NFL teams to a specific Halloween candy (or any candy otherwise). And you won’t be surprised to learn that we professionals immediately hounded someone (this fair but courageous writer) for daring to have a dissenting opinion about chocolate and fruity gold.
One might even say such a pack mentality is a little spooky. Dear reader, this is the cross I bear for my colleagues.
Below, you will find the very scientific candy consensus we came to for every NFL team this Halloween. Some team choices and blurbs are obvious. They are the evergreen peanut butter cups of professional football. They are a treat. Others, unfortunately, stick in our craw in the worst way, necessitating whole globs of water to wash away the disgusting taste out of our mouths. You only wish they were a trick.
Note: The list is in alphabetical order, not by ranking of what is and isn’t delicious.