Josh Allen teased the Bills’ stunning red-inferno helmets, and they looked incredible in every way

Heck yeah, it’s the early 1990s again. Or not?

In the early 90s, when the Bills were the unquestioned kings of the AFC, it was an unmitigated joy to see their perfect red-inferno helmets every Sunday. It wasn’t enough that Jim Kelly, Bruce Smith, Thurman Thomas, and Andre Reed were better than everyone else — they looked fantastic, too.

Unfortunately, Buffalo stopped wearing those pristine red metal caps during the 2002 season. I have no way to confirm this, but it’s no coincidence the Bills were a cellar dweller for much of the time since. Look terrible, and play even worse. To clarify: I mean complete disrespect to the current white helmets they don most of the time now. I don’t blink when they lose games in those abominations.

Friends, I have the best news, courtesy of everyone’s favorite cyborg Josh Allen: Buffalo’s classic red helmets are back! (For now).

Dear God. They are ah-may-zing. Why would the Bills ever walk away from these gifts to football? It’s just this esteemed writer’s opinion, but those are the best alternate helmets any NFL team has revealed this summer. It’s not even close. You won’t go wrong with a classic.

Here’s the part where I enter with bad news: The Bills will not wear the NFL’s best helmets this year. This stunt was a cruel ruse clearly only designed to tease and then break the heart of faithful sartorialists like myself.

Oh, come on! The Bills might be Super Bowl 57 favorites, but you’re tempting fate on that front by pulling out the rug like this. Sigh.

In their defense, the Bills can’t go to their red alternates yet (which, again, should be on a full-time basis).

According to WGR550’s Sal Capaccio, NFL rules state that the Buffalo can’t use the red helmet because 1) It clashes with their red color rush jersey, and 2) the helmet can’t pair with their throwbacks because those use standing buffalo while the modern buffaloes charge full steam ahead. And yes, there is no redesign coming — at least during the 2022 season. (Note: Alternate NFL helmets must be paired with throwback or color rush uniforms. No in-between.)

Now that’s just silly. The league would deliberately let the Bills look worse simply because they don’t have the proper uniform? Update them now! What an unforced fashion faux pas. I’m sorry, but this is the first nail in the coffin in Buffalo’s 2022 season. Just when you thought they were about to own the AFC again, like in the old days. Too bad.

Don’t mind me; I’m starting the petition to immediately let the Bills look fly in red helmets. Their Super Bowl hopes might depend on it.