It has always felt like it’d only be a matter of time before the robots took over and went all I, Robot on us. And, honestly, it’s never felt like there was much we could do about it.
I mean, they can parkour so we can’t really escape them. They can do gymnastics and run up flights of stairs. They’re big and fast and even have creepy dogs that can open doors. They can even bust dance moves now, which, at that point, they’re just gloating.
But we’ve finally found the one thing they stink at. And that is basketball. The robots cannot play basketball.
FIBA unveiled their new dribbling robot and, boy, I am stealing the ball from this thing 12 times out of 10. It has no moves. No bag. Bob Cousy has a better crossover because this robot doesn’t have a crossover at all.
🚨 If you're scared of high-tech robots, we have more bad news for you
THIS GUY CAN DRIBBLE NOW, well, at least to some extent 😅 🦾 🦿
🎥 IG – b.league_en pic.twitter.com/WbykGL19G3
— FIBA (@FIBA) December 27, 2021
And don’t think we didn’t see that trash bounce pass, either. We saw it. It’s getting stolen. We’re on the fastbreak throwing lobs now. How does this thing dribble slower than the shooting robot shoots?
Am I taking a charge from this thing? No. It looks like it wears a size 25. And it’s just rolling down the court. I might actually die if it runs me over, so that’s dangerous. But it dribbles so slow anybody should be able to get in there and take the ball. Hit the gym, robot.
The internet completely roasted this joint for having no game.
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