Former Jacksonville Jaguars and New York Giants head coach Tom Coughlin wrote a moving essay in The New York Times on Tuesday, explaining his wife, Judy, is battling a brain disorder.
Coughlin opened the piece by explaining people had been wondering why Judy had not been in photos recently at events for the Jay Fund, which was created in memory of his son who died after a battle with leukemia while a member of Coach Coughlin’s team at Boston College.
After several years of doctors trying to pinpoint the disease that has been slowly taking her from us, Judy was diagnosed with progressive supranuclear palsy in 2020. It is a brain disorder that erodes an individual’s ability to walk, speak, think and control body movements. It steals memories and the ability to express emotions and, sadly, is incurable.
Coughlin has become the caregiver for his wife.
Judy’s decline has been nothing but gut-wrenching and has placed me in a club with the tens of millions of other Americans who serve as a primary caregiver for a loved one. Admittedly, transitioning from being with an N.F.L. franchise to full-time caregiver wasn’t easy. It’s still not easy. The playbook is either changing by the minute or so numbingly repetitious, you lose track of time and self.
I’ve learned firsthand caregiving is all-consuming. It is mentally and physically exhausting. Sometimes you just need a break. When Judy is having a good day, then my day is good. But then there are dark days — those days that are so full of frustration and anger, they have me feeling like a failure and pondering the unfairness of the disease. I’ve spent my entire life preparing for some of the biggest games a person could play, but nothing can prepare you to be a caregiver who has to watch a loved one slip away.
Wishing the best and sending prayers to Judy Coughlin and the extended family of Coach Coughlin.