We’ve reached that time of the year in which you might, by accident, find out about a dark secret of a close friend or family member. It’s something they probably hoped would remain a thing that is only known by them and they will go to great lengths to make sure nobody else finds out about it.
But sometimes it just happens, for better or worse. Their secret gets exposed and their feelings of shame take off to ridiculous levels.
I’m talking, of course, about those close to us who secretly, or not-so-secretly, choose to watch the NFL Scouting Combine on television.
One moment you’re skipping through the front door after getting home early from work and the next you’re walking in on a roommate sitting there watching offensive linemen making their way through the 3 Cone Drill. Or watching intently as quarterback after quarterback makes their way out of the blocks in the 40 yard dash. Or, and this is really bad, they’re gleefully watching as a defensive tackle attempts to get a personal best in the broad jump.
The horror, right?
I mean, who would choose to watch this glorified track meet where NFL prospects attempt a number of drills that will realistically have nothing to do with how they perform on a football field on Sundays? Who would take time out of their lives to watch the hours-long coverage on NFL Network when they could be doing something so much more productive with their time – like catching up on Better Call Saul on Netflix, which I’m currently choosing to do.
Whatever happens this week in Indianapolis should stay in Indianapolis. And it should stay off all of our televisions.
It’s already gotten off to a laughable start as Joe Burrow, who is going to be the No. 1 pick in the draft, has been dinged for having really tiny hands. As if suddenly these “tiny hands” will make him not be a great quarterback at the next level. As if these “tiny hands” should make us all forget about his historic season last year as QB of the national champion LSU Tigers.
It’s all just so silly.
But here’s the thing – if you come across somebody watching the combine you don’t have to run away and lose their number forever. Instead, you can sit down with them and explain to them that it doesn’t matter how a QB does in the vertical jump. Patrick Mahomes had a 30-inch vertical during his combine a few years ago. Is that good? Is that bad? Who in the world knows!? What we do know is that number had nothing to do with him winning a Super Bowl a few weeks ago.
You can tell your friend or loved one that the amount of bench press reps a linebacker can do are meaningless, too. Terrell Suggs “only” did 18 reps of 225 back in 2003 and he’s had a pretty decent – and lengthy – NFL career despite those struggles.
Most importantly, you can just be there for this person and help introduce them to more enjoyable things to watch on TV, of which there are currently plenty to chose from.
There really is no reason for anyone with half a brain and a subscription to a streaming service or two to watch the combine. Unless, of course, you’ve been suffering from insomnia – then by all means fire up the NFL Network and let this thing that has somehow become popular take you to some of the deepest REM levels of sleep that you will ever reach.
My pal and colleague, Henry McKenna, is in Indy this week and will be watching and reporting on all the things you’ll need to know, so just follow him on Twitter and fire up some Better Call Saul for you and your friend or loved one to enjoy together.
That will be so much more fun to watch than the silly combine.
Shaq delivered the perfect Kobe Bryant story at Monday’s emotional tribute.
Monday’s tribute to Kobe and Gianna Bryant at the Staples Center was incredible. Vanessa Bryant showed so much strength and courage while delivering a beautiful eulogy. Michael Jordan brought the perfect amount of humor to his emotional speech. And Shaquille O’Neal delivered the line of the day when telling a great story about Kobe’s level of competitiveness. It was just a beautiful celebration of two lives that ended way too soon.
Quick hits: Altuve gets booed… Wilder blames his costume… D-Backs had no idea about Bumgarner… And more!
– Jose Altuve played in a road spring training game and he got booed relentlessly. He also got hit by a pitch.
– Deontay Wilder blamed his loss to Tyson Fury on the heavy costume that he wore to the ring on Saturday night.
– The Diamondbacks had no idea that Madison Bumgarner’s been competing in rodeos.
– Fans have noticed that Dwight Howard has been taking some long free throws.
– Here are 10 ways Zion Williamson can beat teams. He’s really good at basketball.