Video: Nate Diaz smokes weed, announces ‘USADA can f*cking suck a d*ck’ as collector awaits urine sample

“This man won’t get out of my house because I didn’t give him enough piss.”

If I offered you $100 to properly guess what [autotag]Nate Diaz[/autotag] was doing right now, what’s your answer?

I’m sure responses will vary, but if we were going Family Feud style, I think “smoking weed” will likely be the most surveyed answer.

So if the USADA sample collector who showed up Friday to get multiple liters of urine from Diaz ahead of UFC 279 is any sort of MMA fan, he probably thought the unideal scenario he walked into was plausible, if not likely.

“This man won’t get out of my house because I didn’t give him enough piss,” Diaz said, as he smoked weed on Instagram live. “I’ve pissed all I can my (expletive). How many liters do I have to do? … I’ve got two more liters of piss I’ve got to give him. He won’t get out of here until (then). DK is my guy, but USADA can f*cking suck a d*ck. Come back in six hours, I’ll give you two more liters. Sorry, DK.”

The USADA collector, apparently named DK (or nicknamed that by Diaz),  was a good sport about the whole ordeal. He ducked and dodged in and out of view as the camera, and even tried to use his tablet as a shield.

I can’t tell if Diaz is either a USADA sample collector’s best friend or worst enemy. On one hand, it’s probably a little more eventful to show up and deal with Diaz. It probably breaks up the monotony of what (at least from my perspective) seems like a job filled with uncomfortable and unpleasant tasks. Plus, Diaz might give you the run-around, but he’s also the one to accept you as “my guy,” if you show him respect.

On the flip side, he’ll broadcast your face to the world as he discusses how you want to claim his urine and puffs clouds of weed everywhere. That seems like a tough one.

Anyway, as Diaz put it in a follow-up picture of him and DK sitting on the couch, “Smoking weed wit USADA. It’s a new day and age.”

Eloquently worded, Nathan. Eloquently worded.

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