In her first public appearance since the passing of Kobe and Gianna Bryant, Vanessa Bryant gave a heartbreaking eulogy Monday afternoon remembering her late husband and daughter.
Composed and quiet, yet radiating inner strength, Vanessa Bryant stood in front of the thousands gathered at Staples Center and the thousands more watching online, and shared her deepest and fondest memories of her husband and 13-year-old daughter. The eulogy, which lasted over 20 minutes, was filled with sweet remembrances and funny stories, and it was unbelievably gracious of Bryant to share them with the world. As much as Kobe belonged to the basketball community, he was first and foremost a husband and a father, and belonged to Vanessa more than he did anyone else.
“He was the early bird, I was the night owl. I was fire and he was ice, and vice versa at times. We balanced each other out…I have no idea how I deserved a man that loved and wanted me more than Kobe,” she said.
In her speech, Bryant first started off by remembering Gigi, who she firmly believed was destined to be a WNBA star and change the landscape of women’s basketball. She described her daughters good humor, work ethic and determination with the sadness of a mother who will never see all that potential come to fruition. She shared sweet stories about Gigi’s love of her youngest sister, and her tradition of kissing her mother goodbye before leaving for school, even if she wasn’t awake to feel it. Fighting back tears, Vanessa Bryant also poignantly addressed the lifetime of regret and longing she’ll feel for Gigi, and described her sorrow at never being able to see Gigi walk down the aisle in a wedding dress.
Even with her voice shaking, Vanessa Bryant somehow found the strength to keep going and remember her husband of almost 20 years. She not only shared his basketball memories, but spoke of their incredible love story, as well as alluded to the troubled times of their marriage.
Out of all the stories she could have shared, Vanessa recounted that Kobe bought her the infamous blue dress from the romance drama The Notebook and gave it to her as a gift. When she asked why he chose that particular dress, Kobe said it was the dress Allie wore when she came back to Noah. It was a slight nod to their fractured relationship after Kobe’s sexual assault allegations that lead to their temporary separation.
“We had hoped to grow old together like the movie. We really had an amazing love story,” she said.
There was no need for Vanessa Bryant to share so much of her loss publicly, but in doing so, she allowed the world to see not just the sorrow but also the tremendous love that grief can bring.
I do not know how Vanessa Bryant found the strength to do this; to refer to her husband and daughter in the past tense and confront, over and over again, the fact that two people she loves most in the world are never coming back, but she did it with unbelievable grace and strength.
At the end of her remarks, Vanessa Bryant shared just how close Kobe and Gigi were.
“They were funny, happy, silly; they loved life. They were so full of joy and adventure,” she said. “God knew they couldn’t be on this earth without each other. He had to bring them home to heaven together. Babe, you take care of our Gigi, and I got Nani, Bibi and Coco. We’re still the best team,” she said.
Grief is an unwieldy beast and shows its head in unexpected places. While comfort can be found in mourning with others, it’s also not something that should be expected of anyone, certainly not anyone who suffered a loss this devastating. Yet, Vanessa Bryant chose to let the world see the full breadth of her loss and she displayed incredible strength and grace while doing so.