Twas the night before Christmas ay fam gather round,
Your Cowboys run the East- no lies to be found.
Division been clinched, whomped Belichick too,
Not a city in either conference Dem Boys ain’t ran through.
North Texas put all’em kiddie squads in their beds,
While nightmares of Micah sack danced in their heads.
The defense elite, first time in some years,
It took just a rook’n kickin’ Nolan in the rear.
Ran him outta town one year after The Clapper,
In comes Quinn for the win, boy stay quotin’ rappers.
Matter fact, update. Witherspoon coordinate,
Swap Cover 3 for Man Free, can’t afford to be late.
The pundits, those dummies didn’t see sleighs approach,
Now Stephen A and Orlovsky got Christmas sticks in they throats.
Jerry Jones bringing gifts with a salesmanesque shtick,
So slick homie sold the North Pole to St. Nick.
No reindeers in sight, just a bad backseat driver,
By Xerox, by fax, buy a bench it’s Dan Snyder
While Mara and Rooney conspire with commish,
WTF, WFT… your owner’s a little bit
of Yuletide cheer is what’s needed, ol’ boy got me heated,
Division champions stand up! Eagles and Giants stay seated.
Since Christmas is a time for joyful celebration,
Y’all can rep for your city, Cowboys rep for Nation.
So up to the house-tops in Jerry’s chopper they flew,
To prepare for a clash with a dash of what’s new
At a strong disadvantage was old Lil’ Snyder,
Jer grinned single-malted, more fried than Ore Ida.
As he drew in his head, started turning around,
“We’ll dominate with defense,” pouring another to down.
“Now Randy, Now Tank, Now Neville, let’s gittem!
Now Osa and Dorance, Now Parsons, let’s blitz’em!
The rotation’s intact so it’s time to attack
Pass gets off? 10-pack of Diggs’ picks in my sack!
Jourdan and Brown make a real pressure cooker
Safety off, I’m Jerry Jones someone get me a Hooker!
“Don’t think for one minute the D is the only show,
Make it plain, Kellen makes it Rayne on ho ho hos!
“On Prescott! On Elliott! 2-1-4 is a sign!
The combo is sublime with our offensive line!
There’s Gallup and Dalton! Pollard stock to the moon
Put McGovern at fullback and don’t forget {crowd yells} Cooooop
Run’n shoot, Coryell, West Coast ain’t no slump
Take this sleigh to the playoffs then L.A.- turn that up!
Coach McCarthy in charge, McClay put things together
This sleigh ride is built to withstand any weather!
These no names getting knocked out, they ain’t come to fight,
“So Merry Christmas, Cowboys Nation, only y’all a good night!”
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