This was some 2-1/2 decades ago — he’s 42 now — and while Lydia can’t recall exactly how they’d gotten to talking about her kids’ futures, she has a vivid memory of 12 words James said during the conversation, and the conviction with which he said them. I know what kind of a dad I don’t want to be. “He went on to say that he wanted to be present,” Lydia Borrego says. “That he wanted to be involved with his children, when he had them. That he wanted to do everything different than what his father did.”