Boston Celtics veteran guard Marcus Smart defends us against some truly awful puns masquerading as trash talk.
If there are things about veteran Boston Celtics guard Marcus Smart’s game that he needs help with, trash talk probably isn’t at the top of the list.
But that didn’t stop “Your Cousin from Boston” — an imaginary relative we all seem to have a real-life version of (or are that version of) whipped up by the folks at Sam Adams beer and Bleacher Report — from trying to help the Texan defensive specialist in this short.
While we have to admit, “You’re going to have to quarantine for 14 days after that travel,” is pretty witty, anything that requires that much thought to get the gist of the ribbing probably isn’t going to work too well on the court.
To Smart’s credit, he’s pretty patient with Our Cousin — at least at first – who seems to have confused puns with trash talk.
Check it out for yourself to get in a few chuckles ahead of today’s big game — and let’s hope the Raptors go back to their anti-vaxxer ways with all those missed shots.
Boston Celtics frontcourt luminary Larry Bird was a master of talking trash on the parquet, but could back it up with his play.
Boston Celtics legendary forward Larry Bird was a superstar in his day for what he did on the parquet. But he was also renowned for what he said on the court — at least by his opponents and peers of that era.
Known for backing up his often very precise choice of insults with his game, Bird was the consummate trash talker.
And you’d never know it from the stands, his demeanor looking calm and collected when the game wasn’t unfolding, the Indiana State product dialed into the action with a laser focus when it was.
The Hick from French Lick was famous for delivering brutal one-liners as he passed a player he’d decided to target, getting in the head first with the words, then the body blows of his makes.
In a recent article cataloguing the Boston legend’s best smack talk, The Athletic’s Jayson Jenks lays out account after account of the tongue lashings the goofy-looking assassin used to break his opponent’s will.
Some of the best:
Kevin Gamble, teammate: “He would run by you and say, ‘I told you, [expletive]. I told you I was going to do that.’ Or he’d smack you on the butt and say, ‘Nice try.'”
Xavier McDaniel, opponent: “You had to get up to play him because he was one of those guys that would torch you and talk [smack] until the end.”
Lon Rosen, Magic Johnson’s agent: “Earvin used to tell me, ‘I’ve never heard anybody talk more trash than Larry.’ Now, Earvin talked a lot of trash, too, but he said there was nobody better than Larry.”
George Karl, opposing coach: “The one I remember is when he was in the 3-point shooting contest … He walked in the locker room and said, ‘Which one of you guys is going to finish second?'”
‘You wouldn’t believe what he said’: The greatest trash talker ever, Larry Bird @JaysonJenks asked 17 of Bird’s former teammates and opponents for their best stories about Larry Legend, the epic trash talker. They delivered. 👇 https://t.co/a32dYwfthD
Clark Kellogg, opponent: “He was very discreet, almost like a ventriloquist.”
Mike Gminski, opponent: “He’d drive down the lane and I’d try to go up and block his shot, and he’d say, ‘What are you jumping for? You’re not going to get this.'”
Rosen: “He would actually tell you where he was going to go. I heard him say that during games. I heard it.”
Bird’s trash-talking is the stuff of legends, and there’s a wealth of stories in this article by Jenks. If you haven’t already, be sure to check the piece in its entirety — and if you don’t have a subscription, avail yourself of the 90-day trial they are offering.
