Tag: Stupidity

Russell Wilson and Ciara are creating fragrances that smell like their love for each other

Ah yes, this is what I must smell like.

Have you ever woken up one morning and thought to yourself:

There are so many possible fragrances to embrace, to enhance my essence with a light spritz upon myself. Shall I smell like lavender? Rosemary? Or maybe fresh cedar? Maybe something more understated and neutral, a light touch of rose water to delight the senses of passersby.

But, yet, no! Foo to rose water! Begone, disgusting lavender! I know what scent I must embrace! My identity will forevermore be linked to the olfactory manifestation of the love between recording artist Ciara and Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson. This is my choice. This is who I am now, and will going forward be.

Ah, you haven’t thought that? Me neither.

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Look at these beautiful baseball idiots

Baseball has majestic homers, incredible feats of athletic prowess, and also these members of the Chicago Cubs doing whatever this is.

The Chicago Cubs played the St. Louis Cardinals in a doubleheader on Saturday.

Both games were seven innings long due to the scheduling quirks of trying to fit in a ton of baseball games in a short period of time (thanks COVID-19 and also MLB Commissioner Rob Manfred and also greed), the Cubs lost both games, and honestly whatever.

This season is dumb, the world is dumber, and the only thing that matters that happened yesterday at Wrigley Field is whatever this is:

I could look up more context for what’s happening here, but I choose not to. I choose to simply appreciate these men doing something beautiful and stupid and perfect. Thank you, Cubs. Thank you for this moment.

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Washington’s NFL team should rebrand as ‘Washington FC’

This is the chance for us to see soccer fans and football fans join together to form a singularity of hate.

On Thursday ESPN’s Adam Schefter reported that, for the time being, Washington’s NFL team will lose the name “Redskins” but not yet embrace a new nickname, simply going by the Washington Football Team for the time being.

This is most likely just a way to buy time until they get a new nickname through the trademark process and produce a lot of merchandise. The team will play with just the name Washington on the jersey, and the player number on every helmet, for the time being.

They undoubtedly look cool — plus lets the team create even more merchandise to sell in the process. (In theory, Washington could get fans buying old jerseys for nostalgia purposes, temporary jerseys for novelty factor, and new jerseys in the span of a year. This is grotesque and I’m sure their marketing department is loving it.)

Anyway, that’s not why I am writing this blog: I am writing to say that they should forget Football Team, change it to Football Club, and go by Washington FC.

Why? I have no reason, other than that I want to see what happens. I feel like it’ll either be beloved and quirky, or it will create a singularity of hate where soccer fans and American football fans will join together in a mass of disgust and stay up for days on end, possibly in shifts, screaming about it on Twitter.

It’s all or nothing. That team either becomes a funky oddity that is adopted as the NFL team of Great Britain, or it leads to some kind of declaration of war from Premier League fans.

We’ve decried all these MLS teams going with City + FC for their team names (most recently with Charlotte) … but an NFL team? I have no idea. That’s where things get interesting.

Let’s take a ride into the unknown, Dan Snyder. Let’s make some memories.

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The 5 best sports performances of the 2020s

We liked last week’s Best of the Decade lists so much, we wanted to get a headstart on this decade.

Last week I saw a lot of “Best of the Decade” lists, and I enjoyed them so much, I wanted to get a head start on THIS decade.

So here they are, the five best sports performances of the 2020s.

5. Arsenal beats Manchester United 2-0 on Wednesday

New Arsenal manager Mikel Arteta led his side to a pretty comfortable win in Premier League action. What a moment.

4. Nathan MacKinnon’s 4-point night against the Blues

The Avalanche forward added 3 assists to a goal in a nice 7-3 victory for Colorado over the Blues.

3. Michael Porter Jr. scores 25 for the Nuggets

Nice night for the rookie. Good breakout game. This is the third best performance of the decade.

2. Georgia beats Baylor by 12

Alright listen everyone this article idea seemed a lot funnier in my head, but here we are and honestly? Not that good a bit. The concept I guess is sort of funny, but now here I am just writing about boring bowl games I fell asleep during.

Should I scrap it? Just delete the whole post? Probably. But honestly I’ve come this far, and so have you, so let’s just soldier on together. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.

1. Justin Herbert leads Oregon over Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl

This was a pretty entertaining bowl game, and the late touchdown from Justin Herbert was a great way to cap off the season for the Ducks. This is the greatest game of the decade.

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