Snack of the Week: Crisp Power’s protein pretzels are a welcome twist

Finally, a pretzel that gets you jacked.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

The key to making a good protein snack is to make it not taste like protein.

I’m not talking about natural protein snacks like beef jerky or a hard boiled egg. I’m talking about protein crisps and bars and generally any food that packs a lot of muscle-building nutrients while trying to shake the unmistakable aftertaste of wheys and protein powders.

Quest fixed this problem by leaning into chip flavors that already tasted like the lactose base from which it sources its protein. Wilde did it by making thin chicken crisps with seasoning you’d expect from chicken. And Crisp Power’s jumped into the fray by taking an already bland starting point — the humble pretzel — and burying it under tried-and-true flavors.

Crisp Power’s pretzel rings pack 28 grams of protein into a bag that clocks in at 210 total calories, making them more efficient than many protein shakes. But that doesn’t matter if they taste like butt. Let’s see what we’ve got.

Everything pretzels: B-

First off, these smell incredible. The everything bagel spice blend mixes salt, garlic, sesame and more into an appealing bouquet. Which is a weird sentence to write about a pretzel, but here we are.

Pouring them onto a plate unleashes that smell but also points out a Crisp Power flaw; each 1.75-ounce bag promises “about 2 servings per pack” but this isn’t much food — especially since we’re talking pretzels, which go down about a half-pound at a time. But the massive protein content (28 grams per bag) suggests this will fill me up without leaving me feeling full.

The pretzels themselves are denser than regular versions but much more crumbly. They break apart in layers like a biscuit, leaving you with something that feels more like a thick Cheez-It than a pretzel.

The taste is a bit overpowering. That strong smell that was such a selling point when you open the bag manifests in a lot of big flavors that combat each other. Pepper and garlic and salt work together on some bites and go entirely too hard on others, making me rethink my “make Doritos with twice the Cool Ranch dusting” path to prosperity.

When they hit right, they’re great. The protein comes from carob, soy and wheat so you don’t get the cheesy taste of dairy-based protein within like you do with Quest’s snacks. That dense, crumbly texture creates a satisfying crunch similar snacks lack.

Dial the volume of the seasoning down and this is a winner. As is, it’s just fine.

Sesame Pretzels: B

These smell a lot more like protein snacks than the everything variety; a dense, bready layering of wheat protein that still smells fine, just not as spicy or enticing as the previous round. While that was a product of too much seasoning, the sesame pretzels opt for a lighter touch.

The result is a pretzel with big sesame stick vibes. The salt is light and the pretzel of it all really just comes down to the brown color and rings. These would be proper breadsticks — in fact, it would probably be great to crush a bunch of these up and layer them on top of a bowl of chili or soup.

On their own, they’re a perfectly snackable food. The endearing texture remains, giving you a satisfying crunch with each bite. The light hint of salt and just-enough sesame make for a low-key flavor that’s easy to come back to. It’s easy to zone out and absent-mindedly crush a whole bag, which is the highest compliment a snack can receive. Fortunately, at 210 calories per bag, it won’t set you back in the gym.

Sea Salt: A-

Again, you’re getting biscuit-y goodness from a pretzel. The layers give Crisp Power a potent crunch that’s satisfying to crush between your molars, making that texture the star of the show.

The sea salt here is minimal, creating a nice soft touch but allowing that soy protein to remind you this is at least partially a health food. That won’t stop you from enjoying it, but will keep you from thinking these are regular pretzels.

There’s not too much else to this, which again makes it a very crushable snack. The dry salt isn’t overpowering but is slightly addictive, making it easy to dive back in. This is where the 1.75-ounce bags come in handy, as the standard one ounce would probably leave me wanting more but this extra serving leaves me satisfied. While I’d like it if there was a little more flavor here, you instead get a classic pretzel that still tastes pretty damn good.

Protein/Caffeine Mix of the Week: G Fuel actually makes a lot of sense for a morning workout, huh?

Instead of dropping protein powder into my coffee, G Fuel just caffeinated a protein shake. Neat.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

I’m already on the protein/caffeine train. Mostly because I’ve been using dessert-like powders as coffee creamer because, despite being a grown man, I still mostly don’t like coffee. Thus, a scoop of birthday cake powder into some cheap grounds, then shaken, and I’ve got a frothy, sweet and slightly too complicated drink that wakes me up and keeps me from getting hungry until lunch.

This made G Fuel an easy fit for me. It’s protein and caffeine all in one, delivering 140 milligrams of caffeine — a little more than a typical cup of drip coffee — and 15 grams of protein per scoop. That’s a little less protein than I’d like — my usual scoop clocks in between 20 and 25 grams, depending on what was on sale that month — but it’s still solid enough to start my morning, particularly mixed with milk.

Of course, none of that means anything if it doesn’t taste good. G Fuel’s original lineup is rooted in coffee flavors, with mocha and latte and a good old fashioned chocolate shake in there. Will it be enough to replace my big pot of coffee and shaker filled with protein powder, Splenda and milk? Let’s give it a shot.

French Vanilla Latte: A-

Per the instructions, I went with half water and half milk to get to the 16 ounces necessary for one full 27 gram scoop of G Fuel’s protein/caffeine powder. It blends with relative ease into a medium-thick drink — not quite a shake but denser than milk.

The first sip leans heavier into the “latte” portion than the French vanilla, but that’s not a bad thing. Since this is replacing my morning coffee it’s actually helpful in that regard. The latte comes off with a real coffee ice cream vibe; sweet and just a little tangy.

That sugary flavor is impressive given the 90 calories per scoop, though at 15 grams of protein you’re getting less here than you would with most other straight up protein mixes (my current go-to, MuscleTech, clocks in at 120 calories and 24 grams of protein). There’s a little bit of that chalky whey flavor endemic to all powders, but it’s minimal and really the only thing telling you this isn’t just a dessert.

I used mine as a pre-workout, though there was an hour window between finishing it and heading to the weights. My workout itself wasn’t appreciably better or worse than usual. I mean, it was still awful because I am 40 and my body just sorta sucks at most things now, but it was fine. I didn’t expect protein or caffeine to fix the fact that sleeping at a slight angle can mess up my neck for three straight weeks. Though, if it could…

Chocolate: A-

The chocolate seems to blend a little less easily than the French vanilla; there’s a ring of tiny brown clumps dotting the top of my shake. That’s kinda a feature rather than a bug for me. I like getting little, chewable powdery bits in my protein. It reminds me of poorly made Jell-O pudding, but that might not be a universal thing.

The chocolate taste is rich and smooth. You get a little bit of the chalky whey involved, but only it you’re searching for it. So if, say, you wanted to give this to a fussy six-year-old to help boost their protein intake, you’re almost certainly gonna get away with it.

It also feels a bit thinner than the vanilla latte, which could be in part to the mixing issues. But that’s a minor concern for a shake that tastes great. My complaint here, which is a weird one, is that my coffee ritual lasts three cups and provides a welcome distraction over a couple hours while I’m working.

But G Fuel is so good that I pretty much pounded my 18 ounce shake. I could make a cup of coffee after that, but I don’t know if I’d be overloading on caffeine at this point.

To that point, G Fuel’s 140 milligrams of caffeine are enough to keep me from feeling a withdrawal headache despite the fact it’s roughly two-thirds the eye-opener I’d normally drink in the morning (24 ounces of coffee at 95 mg per).

Part of me wants to use it as creamer in my coffee like I would with regular protein powders, but that feels like overkill. Instead I threw my shake in the freezer for half and hour and chewed on the frozen bits that floated to the surface. 10/10 experience, would recommend.

My workout, again, was mostly fine. There’s a chance the slight drop-off in protein content is having a minor effect, but it’s also possible I’m stuck in the same place I was two weeks ago because, as previously mentioned, I’m now old and my body kinda sucks. The good news is it’s doing work as an appetite suppressant; the chocolate shake got me well into the afternoon before I got hungry enough for lunch.

Cafe Mocha: A-

Like the vanilla latte, there’s a coffee ice cream feel to this flavor. It’s sweet, creamy and very, very easy to drink. After a few sips I placed this in the freezer for about 50 minutes and it came out thicker and with more of the shake consistency I wanted. I guess I could just blend it with ice, but that’s more effort than I’m willing to put in right now.

Besides, this tastes great as is. It’s dessert for breakfast, a problem in that it’s gone too fast to really recreate my coffee ritual.