PISCATAWAY, N.J. — As if Malcolm Ray wasn’t facing a big enough task already, the Rutgers football defensive lineman is also tackling the job of being a father. In a year of transition for Ray, the biggest change for him has been changing diapers for the past seven months.
Along with his strong Christian faith, Ray says that fatherhood and his marriage defines who he is as a man. As if being a student-athlete isn’t challenging enough, the Rutgers defensive lineman must also make time to be a father and a husband.
Those roles at home, Ray said, are what motivates him each day in the locker room and on the practice field.
Being a father is still new to him, with all the twists and turns that come with having an infant. Ray’s son, his first child, is seven months old. Becoming a father comes at a time when Ray’s life is already chaotic and unpredictable.
His biggest challenge, apart from raising his son, includes settling into a Rutgers football program he joined this offseason via the transfer portal.
“I’m blessed,” Ray told Rutgers Wire during spring practice. “But there have been a lot of changes the past few months. We’re settling in and liking it.”
From Florida, Ray had never before been to New Jersey when he committed to the Rutgers staff in early January. But he saw the Scarlet Knights as a good pathway for increased playing time in his final season of college football after four years at Florida State.
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Fatherhood is something that differentiates Ray from many of his teammates. He has, in his words, a “big responsibility to take care of” in raising his son. His life is very much centered around the addition to his family.
It leads Ray to a certain amount of regimented living and more structure to his life than many if not all of his teammates. He and his wife are forced to communicate and be flexible when Ray has a scheduled workout or practice.
“It’s hard but we make things work,” Ray said about the schedule.
“You know, she takes him sometimes when I’m going to have to wake up early in the morning. We just come up with a plan and just execute it really, I take him, she takes him. We make it work.”
His son goes to sleep early, a blessing that allows Ray to plan his sleep schedule around that of his son. A consistent talking points for head coach Greg Schiano with all of his teams is getting rest and sleep.
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Given practice and film study, recovery and workouts, a student-athletes schedule is already busy and tiring. Throw in classes and that schedule becomes increasingly frayed.
Factor in an infant with feeding and diaper changing, daily bath time and being put down for sleep and Ray has to stick to a schedule. There is no other way about it.
He puts his son down for sleep and then Ray, almost immediately, heads off to bed himself. It doesn’t matter if Jeopardy! is still on and the sun hasn’t yet set, the Rutgers defensive lineman has to get his rest.
He does so because he needs to be up around 4 A.M. for a feeding. His son eats and usually falls asleep quickly, which means that Ray might be able to get back to sleep for an hour or two before getting up for class work and workouts.
The family of three lives about five minutes away from the Rutgers campus. They are helped by the fact that his wife has family nearby in New York who can help with the childcare.
“The transition – it is going pretty good,” Ray said.
“My wife – she’s from the area. She has family nearby. For me it is still you know, getting, trying to learn what the exits are and all that but rather than that, I’m liking it. My son is loving it up here. He’s having a ball.”
Rutgers and Schiano are hoping that Ray has a ball this fall.
With the graduation of Isiah Iton (with the Tennessee Titans as an undrafted rookie free agent), Rutgers is looking for an impactful defensive lineman who can challenge and make plays in the interior. Ray comes with some significant experience at Florida State, with a four-year career output of 60 total tackles with 3.5 sacks and two passes defended.
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Making the decision to join Rutgers took a bit of a leap of faith from Ray, but he knew it was the right place for him to continue his career with an eye toward the NFL.
From his first contact with Rutgers in the transfer portal in December, Ray started to develop a strong relationship with the staff.
“It was a big risk. So I got to say, with coach Schiano, when we first got on the phone and we were talking like we knew each other from way back when,” Ray said.
“But it was just like the connection that we instantly. We clicked so fast and it was just like ‘How can I not?’ A connection with the head coach is like something you want. So it was just that it felt right.”
