Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.
Liquid Death has a certain vibe. Stupid names, good water.
Their flagship canned water has become a sensation on the backs of flavors like “Mango Chainsaw” and “Berry It Alive.” That led to an extension into the world of iced teas named “Grim Leafer” and “Armless Palmer.” The labels are bad, but the vibes are undeniably good. Liquid Death is now a billion dollar company with its sights set on mutilating thirst across the globe.
The company’s latest effort to sustain triple-digit growth is an extension into drink powder. A land previously ruled by Crystal Light has seen an influx of competitors bringing new flavors and the promise of body-boosting elements. Liquid Death’s “Death Dust” promises 300 milligrams of electrolytes and 200 milligrams of potassium — about half what you’d get in the same drink volume of Pedialyte — in a box that promises you’ll “rise from the dead.”
The box I received came with three flavors: Severed Lime, Convicted Melon and the aforementioned Mango Chainsaw. And while the vitamins inside may do nothing to fix the detached retinas I got from rolling my eyes just typing those names out, they should help my mornings feel a little brighter.
Let’s see how they are.
Severed Lime: B
The original? Pretty good, despite the very stupid name (endemic to all Deaths Liquid). The mix dissolves easily into a standard water bottle with a couple shakes. It comes out… almost blue?
It smells great; heavy citrus lime wafts off the top, even from the narrow opening of a water bottle. It tastes… like it’s got 300 milligrams of sodium in it. There’s a certain “SPORTS DRINK” feel to what’s happening here. It doesn’t taste bad, but it doesn’t taste like the canned version and that’s due to more than just the absence of bubbles.
That said, I like the idea of getting some electrolytes back. I’m drinking this in the middle of a Nutrl review, and while I could easily pound six of those in a night without thinking about it, I would feel like absolute garbage in the morning since I am an old man and my body currently sucks. This feels like the kind of replenishing timeout that will make me at least slightly functional tomorrow morning.
But that comes at a cost. You’re getting hard seltzer level lime, which is undeniable in its artificiality. It’s still easy to drink, but it feels like a Liquid Death knockoff despite its bonafides. Some real wish.com Liquid Death, if you will.
Mango Chainsaw: B-
It blends easily, imparting a well-hydrated urine color to your water. It smells, well, like a drink mix. I think that’s my problem here; I’m comparing this to the canned LD even though it can never be that.
And for a powdered drink, it’s fine. There’s no denying it tastes like a chewable vitamin, but the flavor is sweet and enjoyable. It’s not something you’d seek out, but in terms of hydration it’s an easy sell. If this prevents tomorrow’s hangover? It’s perfect. If not? It’s probably not worth it.
To its credit, it does bring some preventative hydration to the table after a long night of, uh, writing other drink reviews. It’s not as reliable as Roar when it comes to making your morning feel normal, but it’s better than regular water.
Convicted Melon: B+
Good god, these names. Liquid Death doesn’t tell you which melon was guilty of a violent crime here, but based on the color of the mix it’s watermelon that will no longer be able to vote. Or, maybe some purple melon? I dunno man, as someone with weak cones, colors are my Waterloo.
The taste itself is chuggable, pale watermelon. It’s sweet but not overpowering, making it easy to pound on a warm day when, say, you’ve been drinking a bunch of beer and want to minimize that hangover risk. You know, hypothetically.
That’s a place Liquid Death has always come through. Its heavy electrolyte load lends a slight salty taste to each of the powders, but those help hydrate against a steady stream of summer drinks. I came back to this in a water bottle loaded with ice in between a round of golf and it did have some reviving qualities on top of being the tastiest of the Death Dust mixes.
Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?
This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Death Dust over a cold can of Hamm’s?
Tough call here. I’d probably drink it between my third and fourth Hamm’s on a hot day of playing cornhole or sitting by a lake.
