“Look in my eyes, what do you see? CM Punk on my TV!”
OK those aren’t the actual words to “Cult of Personality,” but they do fit the rhythm and also summarize the big selling point for WWE Raw tonight in (well really near) Chicago. Even though Punk won’t be able to compete at WrestleMania due to injury, there’s no reason he can’t address what is sure to be a rabid hometown crowd.
Considering Drew McIntyre keeps talking about him even while he’s out, Punk has stayed hot even while he’s been rehabbing his torn triceps. Our feeling here at Wrestling Junkie is that he and the Scottish Warrior are going to have a feud later this year, assuming McIntyre wins gold at WrestleMania.
Seth Rollins is going to have something to say about that, of course, and he might get involved in tonight’s festivities too. We know McIntyre is in town.
And I was really hungry 😞🧁 pic.twitter.com/JKrjiizoiI
— Drew (@DMcIntyreWWE) March 25, 2024
As for actual wrestling matches, WWE has promoted a bunch of those as well, including solo outings for Jey Uso and Sami Zayn, Ricochet taking on JD McDonagh, Andrade in action against Ivar, and new queen of the mean girls Candice LeRae battling Ivy Nile.
That’s plenty of reason to tune in even if you weren’t looking forward to seeing Punk, though you know you are. Here’s how it all unfolded.
WWE Raw results from Chicago:
(please scroll down for more details on any match or segment in bold)
- CM Punk and Cody Rhodes are shown on the way into the building, after which we see highlights from the final segment of SmackDown that led to a standoff between Rhodes and Roman Reigns
- Cody Rhodes is kicking us off, but The Rock is here too, and something he says to Cody has him a little shook
- Jackie Redmond wants to know what The Rock said, but he suggest she ask Cody instead
- The Judgment Day gets ready for tonight, with JD McDonagh saying he’ll handle Ricochet and Damian Priest suggesting he has a plan to have things in their favor heading into WrestleMania
- Ricochet def. JD McDonagh by pinfall, shaking off distractions from Dominik Mysterio, who gets himself ejected from ringside before the finish
- CM Punk has his homecoming, which turns into a discussion with Drew McIntyre and Seth Rollins about WrestleMania
- A short video shows Shinsuke Nakamura saying he’ll be a nightmare for Jey Uso tonight
- Candice LeRae def. Ivy Nile by pinfall, again taking shortcuts and again making Indi Hartwell look like she feels bad
- The New Day and #DIY do some backstage bickering when they’re visited by The Awesome Truth; R-Truth is hyped because he thinks it’s going to be The New Day vs. DX, and is that Paul Heyman talking to McIntyre in the background?
- The New Day vs. #DIY ends in a no contest as The Judgment Day attacks both teams, and Awesome Truth (who were on guest commentary) ends up getting hauled into the mess and laid out as well
- Redmond finds Rhodes, but Cody says it’s something he can’t repeat but suggests “it’s a promise that he can’t keep”
- Cathy Kelley talks to Gunther, who doubles down on his assertion that Sami Zayn doesn’t really think he can win at WrestleMania, or even beat Bronson Reed tonight
- Andrade def. Giovanni Vinci by pinfall
- When are Rhea Ripley and Becky Lynch finally going to throw down? How about right now
- Chad Gable stops Sami Zayn and pleads with him to focus on his match tonight; Sami appreciates the tough love approach and says Chad is right, then shakes his hand
- Bronson Reed def. Sami Zayn by pinfall after a distraction by Gunther proves costly for Sami
- Jey Uso cuts his pre-match promo on Nakamura, but he gets a quick visit from Solo Sikoa, who says nothing, and Jimmu Uso, who says “no yeet”
- Zayn laments to Gable that he knew what Gunther was doing and it still worked; Chad says that Sami needs a different approach, and they can talk about it
- Rollins finds Jey and says something doesn’t feel right, but that he and Cody have his back so he can get that dub
- Jey Uso def. Shinsuke Nakamura by pinfall, despite The Bloodline and McIntyre scrapping with Rhodes and Rollins
- That fighting continues to the backstage area, where The Rock attacks Rhodes with a variety of weapons, including trash cans, and they battle outside into the rain, where Cody is busted open while The Rock wipes his blood on the belt just as he said he would last week
Speechless. 😲😲😲@TheRock just DESTROYED @CodyRhodes on #WWERaw! Message sent ahead of #WrestleMania. pic.twitter.com/r8HxqrPrSa
— WWE (@WWE) March 26, 2024
The Rock manages to unsettle Cody Rhodes with just a whisper
What does Chicago want to talk about? Cody could say nothing, as the talk is kind of over this close to WrestleMania. After getting the fans to cheer for Pat McAfee and Michael Cole, Rhodes talks about how Roman Reigns said a lot during his media rounds last week.
A “Roman sucks” chant loudly rings through the arena while Cody says the idea that he’s not keeping his promises got under his skin. He’s actually done plenty of promise-keeping, even for people he doesn’t really know. Cody says he’s had to play the role of champion because the champion isn’t here.
Even though Rhodes says he’s done all of this without asking for anything in return, he does need something now: He needs the fans to ride with him for both nights of WrestleMania. Now he wants all 15,000 people in the arena to point at the WrestleMania sign with him, which they do.
That is quickly answered though, by the unadvertised arrival of The Rock, which also sends the fans into a frenzy. There are some “Rocky” chants among the boos, for sure. Oh, and some “holy s–t” chants that have to be blanked out.
After an extended staredown and a smirk from The Final Boss, The Rock simply whispers something to Cody and leaves The Ring, bringing “Rocky sucks” chants as he smiles and walks to the back.
CM Punk will be at WrestleMania, but will he get the last word with Seth Rollins and Drew McIntyre?
The fans in Chicago greet Punk warmly before he says he will definitely be at WrestleMania. He says his arm is not great and he’s not medically cleared, but his mouth works. Does that mean he will host WrestleMania? Ten years ago he said he would have felt that was beneath him, but now he wishes he could just be in front of the people.
What about being a referee? Is there a title match that could use an impartial referee? People sure like talking about him, though, and Punk mentions that Roman Reigns talked about him on Pat McAfee’s show, but he’s earned the right.
Seth Rollins also likes talking about him, but Punk also figures maybe he’s earned the right too. In contrast, The Rock hasn’t talked about him, but Punk likes to think it’s because he already knows his arms “were just too short to box with God.”
And then there’s Drew McIntyre. Punk says he’s been very quiet because in Chicago, if you have a problem you handle it face to face like a man. The Scottish Warrior arrives and promptly gets a dose of verbal venom, which gets the fans on him too.
McIntyre says he’d love to head to the ring but also reminds Punk of what happened last time that happened. As they argue about t-shirts, McIntyre claims he doesn’t hate Punk, because CM completes him.
They finally end up finding something to argue about: McIntyre calling himself The Chosen One. Punk wants to know who chose him, because it wasn’t the people.
Drew insists he wants CM to have a front row seat at WrestleMania to see McIntyre have his long awaited moment in front of a stadium full of live fans.
That, in turn, brings out Seth Rollins, and the fans reach full throat again. Rollins, of course, doesn’t like Punk and says he doesn’t get to make decisions about a WrestleMania main event when he’s not in it.
Still, Rollins decides to poll the crowd: Should Punk be on commentary? That “referee” chant suggests they’d prefer something out. Punk demonstrates he can count with his left arm but also says he doesn’t think he could be impartial with “these two dips–ts,” to which McIntyre hilariously quips “PG, brother.”
Seth insists he never even thinks about Punk but appreciates the irony of him calling Rollins’ finest hour. He says Punk can do whatever he wants at WrestleMania as long as stays out of Seth’s way.
Punk says it’s decided: He’ll do guest commentary and manage to actually make them both interesting. An angry McIntyre says Punk doesn’t get the last word, insisting that Punk is “my No. 1 Stan,” but he climbs in the ring as he’s talking and gets a superkick and a Stomp from Rollins.
Words finally turn to fists for Rhea Ripley, Becky Lynch
Is Ripley getting enough attention? She tells Dirty Dom she doesn’t think so, saying Becky Lynch keeps fighting other people week after week. Though Rhea figures she could have attacked The Man at any time, she decided to be respectful.
Now she’s just getting impatient. Mysterio is about to throw in his two cents when Lynch’s music hits. Becky taunts Rhea about not ever wrestling on Raw any more, to which Ripley says she doesn’t need to be in the ring every week to get everyone’s attention. She can just post a photo or video online and “watch these freaks eat it up.”
They simply have different opinions on what being a champion is all about. Ripley agrees that Lynch is a survivor … or really a cockroach, since she’s hard to kill but not impossible. Rhea says she’ll leave Becky alive so she can sit on her couch and hear her daughter call Ripley Mami.
Lynch says if Ripley ever mentions her daughter again, it will be the last words Rhea ever utters. Neither her quips nor the title is a joke to Becky, even if they are to Rhea. Lynch also says when Ripley throws the first punch, there’s no going back, and neither of them will ever be the same again.
Dom holds Rhea back, but that gets him punched, and now Becky and Rhea are throwing hands. They battle onto the ramp, where referees finally arrive to separate them.
Jey Uso perseveres through chaos, pins Shinsuke Nakamura
It’s all yeets early, meaning strikes from Jey, but Shinsuke manages to fight back pretty quickly. The question is how long will it be until this all degenerates into chaos.
It won’t be until after the commercial break, when Solo Sikoa and Jimmy Uso emerge from the crowd and are quickly intercepted by Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins. Here comes Drew McIntyre too, who ends up giving Rollins a Future Shock on the floor.
Amidst the melee on the floor, Uso is able to superkick and spear Nakamura, ending the match.