Beverage of the Week: Spritz Society is the summer drink your aunt’s been waiting for

It’s a wine spritzer. In a can. Big divorced mom energy shining here.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Previously, we’ve folded these in to our betting guides, whether that’s been for the NFL slate or a bizarrely successful run through the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey

I am not a wine guy.

This may be an attribute of family gatherings where boxed Sunset Blush was the fanciest offering and children were given small glasses in an effort to scare us straight from the world of booze. It may be from a summer in college where my alcohol stash was greatly supplemented by warmed-over bottles of leftover chardonnay as a gondola attendant on the Providence River. Either way, old grapes burrow into a very specific niche in my brain that just flashes “YUCK” spelled out in old-timey light bulbs each time I taste it.

So, not my jam.

I had reservations when Spritz Society offered to send out a four-pack of its wine-based sparkling cocktail for review. Then I remembered I drank vinegar last week (three times!) and felt much better about this exercise. I still didn’t feel great about it — I hadn’t had a spritzer, as far as I can tell, in my life. I don’t believe I’ve heard one ordered anywhere in years (though I live in Wisconsin and if there were some kind of brandy-old-fashioned spritzer it would be a cultural phenomenal akin to the Beatles in 1964).

The marketing materials for this just say, “Welcome to Spritz Society.” Not “the” Spritz Society. Not “a” Spritz Society. This is Spritz Society, and if we want you to put on an owl mask and watch a series of high-stakes toddler fights, well, dammit, you’re gonna watch or have your membership revoked.

The mansion where Society holds its scandalous meetings smells strongly like peach, which gives off a nice summer-y feel to begin with. Once you take a sip the wine base is unmistakable. I couldn’t tell you *which* white wine we’re dealing with here, but it quickly overpowers the peach to fulfill the “spritz” part of the bargain. Unlike the hard seltzers that have been a mainstay in this column throughout the spring, the carbonation isn’t really there. There are a few bubbles, but nothing especially sparkling.

The end result is a light fruit wine, and to its credit, it doesn’t taste cheap. Despite my lack of grape accolades, I’ve had my share of bum wines — an amount of MD 20/20 I would never disclose to my health insurer — and this is considerably better than that.

It’s refreshing enough but not really something I’m into. The fruit fades quickly, but it’s not sickly sweet and is dry enough to be a nice complement to the light booziness that follows. It gets better as it goes on, but the light bitterness of the grapes remain, giving this all a very different taste than any of the hard seltzers with which it’s likely competing.

Which is the point, but it’s betting hard on people having strong feelings for a drink that traditionally pairs better with macrame vests and jigsaw puzzles than a tailgate or brunch. This is very much a wine spritzer, just dolled up for a new generation. Throw all the hashtags on it you want — deep down, this is a beverage that tastes like it drives a Subaru Outback and adopted too many dogs.

That said, this whole idea was apparently crowdsourced through Instagram, so there’s probably a much bigger audience than someone’s dad taking a break from New Glarus beers in Wisconsin.

Wine drinkers might feel differently, but it feels like there’s something missing. A little sweetness. A little carbonation. Something along those lines. It’s entirely drinkable, but at 8.4 ounces per can, 6 percent ABV, and $17 for a four-pack there are better options out there. If you like wine — if you like spritzers! — don’t listen to me. The peach is delicately placed and tasty. The whole drink is relatively pleasant.

But if you’re looking for something refreshing on a hot day, you’re probably better off with a light beer or a hard seltzer.

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