In unscripted sports, the idea of a tune-up game or match is a real thing. Think a boxer fighting an unranked journeyman prior to a big title fight, or Ohio State playing Akron in football before it heads to Michigan. Not in WWE, though, which subjects its stars to gut-wrenching, emotional contests the night before the Showcase of the Immortals, like tonight on WrestleMania SmackDown in Philadelphia.
Case in point: Jey Uso, who is going to take on his twin brother Jimmy Saturday at WrestleMania 40. If pro wrestling was a shoot, there’s approximately a 0% chance Jey would spend the night before battling it out against his younger but bigger brother, Solo Sikoa.
Why would you put yourself through the mental anguish and physical abuse? You wouldn’t. Yet here we are, and honestly it should be very entertaining.
Hopefully the same can be said about the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. It was a pretty cool idea once upon a time, a way to honor a one-of-a-kind WWE icon and get some additional people on the WrestleMania card. The winner gets a big trophy and everything.
Alas, WrestleMania got too big and popular to have filler matches, even intriguing ones like this, so it got shunted to SmackDown. There are worse fates; a strong argument could be made that this is better placement for the Andre than on the WrestleMania pre-show, when everyone is getting food and taking their last bathroom break before the Show of Shows gets rolling in earnest.
But still.
Anyway, this is all to say that while no one can wait for tomorrow night at Lincoln Financial Field, what’s happening tonight at Wells Fargo Center should also be fun. Let’s see if that’s the case.
WrestleMania SmackDown results from Philadelphia:
(please scroll down for more details on any match or segment in bold)
- A hype video for WrestleMania narrated by Meek Mill gets you … well, hype
- The KO Show welcomes Randy Orton, and when they both get mocked by Logan Paul, they decide to head across the street to pursue him
- Bronson Reed wins the Andre the Giant Battle Royal, last eliminating Ivar
- A highlight video replays the end of Raw, with The Bloodline beating the crap out of Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins
- Karrion Kross says he targeted Bobby Lashley to teach him humility, scoffing at the idea that Lashley was left out of WrestleMania last year for any reason other than WWE not wanting him in it; Kross also says The Final Testament will win on Sunday, etc.
- Now Logan Paul is in the building, thinking he’s outsmarted KO and Orton but quickly learning he’s wrong
- The LWO discovers Dragon Lee has been laid out backstage
- Elektra Lopez def. Zelina Vega by pinfall with lots of help from Legado Del Fantasma and Dominik Mysterio; Andrade is also out there but he reveals his true colors by standing with the LWO
- Bianca Belair, Jade Cargill and Naomi are ready for WrestleMania
- Jey Uso is fired up and wants to hear some yeets before he tangles with his big little brother
- Rey Mysterio gets some bad news: Dragon Lee can’t compete at WrestleMania; Andrade says he’ll step up and team with Rey, so that seems official
- New Catch Republic def. Austin Theory and Grayson Waller by pinfall, but both teams immediately get jumped by The Judgment Day after the bell
- A hype video for Bayley takes us through her history with Damage CTRL and how it’s led to her showdown with IYO SKY, who also gives her side of the story
- LA Knight cuts a short but passionate promo ahead of his WrestleMania grudge match with AJ Styles
- The Pride says they will finish things with The Final Testament in the Street Fight
- Jey Uso def. Solo Sikoa by DQ due to interference by Jimmy Uso, but Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins come to the rescue and Cody gets to cut one last pre-WrestleMania promo
The KO Show welcomes Randy Orton, who agrees with KO to go after Logan Paul
Like we’ve been saying for a bit, even if Owens and Orton aren’t BFFs, the one thing that unites them is their intense dislike for Logan Paul. Speak of the devil, he interrupts from the WrestleMania XL stage, mocking both of his challengers.
Owens and Orton realize together that Lincoln Financial Field is right across the parking lot and decide to head over there. Austin Theory and Grayson Waller pop out from under the ring and run after them, probably because they were supposed to attack KO and Randy in the ring.
We then see Owens and Orton get in a golf cart to roll over to The Linc, with Theory and Waller chasing them on foot.
Now Logan Paul is in the building, but his plan has gone awry
Guess Owens and Orton never caught up with Paul at the football stadium, as he’s now back at Wells Fargo Center. He gets right to work making fun of both them and the denizens of Philadelphia. As one does, if one is a heel.
Paul brags about playing 4D chess and says Theory and Waller will successfully ambush our heroes. He throws it to the Linc, where A-Town Down Under is perplexed as Owens and Orton are nowhere to be found.
“Did you do a thorough search?” Of course they did not, as Owens and Orton sneak into the ring. A Stunner and an RKO are quick to follow. Think this definitely means Paul is winning Sunday, but we shall see.
Bianca Belair, Naomi and Jade Cargill are ready for WrestleMania
Belair has a little Cowboy Carter going on tonight as she reminds us that she has the longest history of fighting back against Damage CTRL. It’s time to stop them for good, which is possible now that Naomi is here, and they agree that they needed each other.
But they’re still outnumbered, so it’s good they have someone new on their side: the new-EST SmackDown superstar, Jade Cargill. She’s dressed like a cowboy too, and gives Damage CTRL a shoutout for giving her the opportunity to show the WWE Universe what she’s all about.
The Big 3 will show everyone why “there is no Damage CTRL.” Asuka, Kairi and Dakota are now in the eye of the storm, and the three faces point at the WrestleMania sign again.
Jey Uso vs. Solo Sikoa ends in hijinks, and Cody Rhodes has the last word before WrestleMania
Well, it doesn’t start well for Jey as Solo smashes him into the apron, but that’s about all we get before commercials.
Will he fight back to the point where the crowd can yeet? Come on, of course.
A hip attack by Jey allows him to cover for two. There are eight minutes left in the show, but you feel like a few minutes might be reserved for hijinks.
Sikoa hits a Samoan Drop, but his Samoan Spike attempt is countered with a superkick and a spear. Jey’s Uso Splash is on target and WHAT DID WE TELL YOU? Jimmy Uso attacks and breaks up the pin.
Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins hustle down to the ring, and now that Solo and Jimmy are down, Rhodes removes his weight belt and gets in a few shots. Jey won’t let Jimmy escape, and he ends up getting rolled back into the ring to eat a Cross Rhodes, a belt shot from Rollins and an Uso Splash.
Cody grabs a mic and asks if everyone can feel the 40 years of WrestleMania history. Tomorrow night, he and Seth will slap the Final Boss so hard his soul will lift out of his body and he’ll remember what it’s like to be The People’s Champion. On Sunday (Sunday! Sunday!), Cody says he’ll dethrone the Tribal Chief.
The fans start a “Cody” chant as he says he’s fighting for everyone who’s ever had a dream. After all, when one story ends, an even better one begins.