Mike Tyson swatted at Jake Paul at their boxing weigh-in, as if that’s any surprise.
Former boxer/convicted rapist Mike Tyson and noted grifter/YouTube idiot Jake Paul decided to do what they’re great at and cause an unnecessary scene to preview their live-streamed boxing match on Friday.
Ahead of Netflix paying these two blithering dunderheads obscene amounts of money to “punch” each other and degrade the sport of boxing for your morbid entertainment, Tyson decided to get a swipe in at Paul during the weigh-in as people looked on and pretended to be shocked.
Two boxers getting into it at a weigh-in is one of the oldest tropes in the sport. These two just made something so routine look like two third-graders getting into it while they’re in line walking to the library for a Scholastic Book Fair because one of them wiped a wet booger on the other’s Lightning McQueen backpack.
Only in this instance, Tyson was wearing an ugly Speedo and Paul looked like a Cobra Kai extra who got fired for flipping over the catering table because somebody pointed out he had toilet paper attached to his Crocs.
If you’re going to waste your Friday evening watching these two morons fight with each other in Jerry World, a stadium too stupid to put up curtains to block the literal sun during football games, godspeed to you.
You will leave the event none the wiser, shamelessly chortling at the de-evolution of humankind and dreading the day you must explain to your children you spent your time watching this clickbait catastrophe instead of volunteering at a charity or cleaning out your sock drawer.
Fun fact: Mike Judge actually cut this fight from Idiocracy because it was too on the nose, and this is a movie where one scene shows a theater full of people dying of laughter at the suspended image of a human buttocks. Let that sink in; this ordeal is dumber than a photo of a butt.
The fight, if you really want to call it that and not a gross byproduct of the attention-at-all-costs economy, is Friday night at 8 p.m. ET on Netflix, unless the universe spares us all by sending a merciful asteroid to wipe out civilization for sanctioning such absolute buffoonery between two headline-starved narcissists who will do basically anything to capitalize on their festering boils of fame before they fade into the abyss. Eat at Arby’s.
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