The opening round of the 2023 NFL Playoffs is upon us. And, like an estranged relative bringing Christmas gifts clearly bought at CVS on the drive over, it’s got lots to offer that looks good in theory but fails to deliver in application.
A divisional rivalry grudge match between the Miami Dolphins and Buffalo Bills, where each side as one close win to its credit? Bad news, Tua Tagovailoa won’t be playing. A rubber match between the Cincinnati Bengals and Baltimore Ravens? Welp, Lamar Jackson is still hurt.
The game that offers the largest gulf between potential and production, however? Tom Brady vs. Mike McCarthy.
No, it’s not the Patriots-Packers Super Bowl we were promised throughout the 2010s. Instead it’s Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers, who won the NFC South more or less by default, vs. McCarthy’s Dallas Cowboys — a team equally capable of leaving opponents in a cloud of dust or tripping over its own feet to give inferior teams myriad opportunities to beat them.
Our three-man panel ran screaming from the unpredictability of the Cowboys and into the relative comfort of playoff Brady, who is likely playing his final home game as a Buccaneer. Monday night’s NFC matchup provides a wide range of potential outcomes. The only thing we’re moderately sure about is that it will get stupid at some point, McCarthy will trend for reasons he’d rather avoid and Brady will once again shame those who counted out Touchdown Tom.
Here’s who we’ve got for the opening round of the 2023 NFL playoffs.
| Game | Christian | Robert | Charles |
| Seahawks at 49ers | 49ers | 49ers | 49ers |
| Chargers at Jaguars | Jaguars | Chargers | Chargers |
| Dolphins at Bills | Bills | Bills | Bills |
| Giants at Vikings | Vikings | Giants | Vikings |
| Ravens at Bengals | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals |
| Cowboys at Buccaneers | Bucs | Bucs | Bucs |
| Last week: | 13-3 | 13-3 | 12-4 |
| Year to date: | 164-90-2 | 164-90-2 | 150-104-2 |
And here are those selections in a better-formatted screenshot of our actual picks sheet, which unfortunately struggles to translate to our editing software.
