Rhode Island Scumbag NFL Locks, Week 12: Betting Thanksgiving and reciting the Degenerate’s Creed

Where we break down the best bets for turkey day and introduce the Degenerate’s Creed for betting NFL games.

Last week’s results weren’t awful, but they were the worst thing you can be as a handicapper: boring. Our Scumbag prognosticator and I teamed up for a 3-4 record, meaning we were neither profitable nor fadeable. There wasn’t much you could have taken from last week’s column to make a confident decision in either direction.

Fortunately, we’ve got plenty more opportunities to get back on track, even after Week 11’s hiccup. Week 12 brings us the NFL’s annual Thanksgiving games as well as the chance to bet against Kirk Cousins in primetime (though I wish the Dallas Cowboys could have saved that boat-racing another week so we could get an artificially high Minnesota Vikings line). Where are we headed with this week’s picks? Oh, friends, I would love to introduce it here but that would only spoil the surprise.