Portland Timbers, Minnesota United delivered some MLS Madness

MLS is weird!

The Portland Timbers visited Minnesota United for a Saturday afternoon MLS clash, and the two teams produced a wacky, weird, wonderful 4-4 draw.

Everyone knows MLS can be a deeply strange league, with fun goals and puzzling defending choices. Bizarre games are a regular occurrence—this isn’t MLS’s first 4-4 draw of the season—but it’s rare that a zany, madcap classic pops up on national TV.

However, Saturday on ABC, the Timbers and Loons provided exactly that. Nine yellow cards, eight goals, three equalizers, three lead changes, and no clarity for the packed middle tier of the Western Conference, which sees Portland (7th, 31 points) and four other teams sandwiched between third-placed Minnesota (35 points) and the Seattle Sounders, who sit 9th on 29.

Portland scored just 13 seconds into the match, with Sebastián Blanco finishing off a move that left Minnesota’s players looking like training cones.

And yet, they walked into the locker room down 3-1 after some wonderful work from Emanuel Reynoso (one assist, and involvement in all three goals) and Franco Fragapane (who scored one and added a bonkers heel flick that hit the post before Bongokuhle Hlongwane buried Minnesota’s second).

Naturally, that impressive comeback from the home side gave them a lead that lasted all of eight second-half minutes. Blanco scored in the 50th minute to bring the Timbers back to life, and by the 53rd minute it was 3-3 after Jaroslaw Niezgoda scored a goal that survived a lengthy VAR check.

Portland then surged back in front with this weird game’s weirdest goal. Blanco tried to slip a pass across the goalmouth from out wide, but even though he appeared to misplace that service, the ball somehow squirmed between Dayne St. Clair and the near post.

After 53 previous Timbers braces in MLS, Blanco hoped for credit for the club’s first-ever league hat trick, but the goal was credited as an own goal after clipping Kemar Lawrence on the way in.

There was still plenty of time for the game to take the oddity up to new levels, and Minnesota equalized through Luis Amarilla in the—you guessed it—69th minute.

St. Clair then redeemed himself for the fourth Portland goal with a spectacular save, and play remained wide open throughout the final minutes, with yellow cards piling up as the only defensive answer either team seemed to have was to foul as the other team sparked counter-attacks.

The rest of the weekend’s MLS games have a high bar to meet.

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