Don’t let anyone police what you wear at home during the coronavirus crisis

Instead of empathy for those of us who can’t seem to make it into a pair of jeans on a Monday,  the LA Times only has scorn.

In these divisive times, it’s always nice when we, as an internet community, can unite over an extremely garbage take.

Today, rather than arguing about self-distancing measures or the tanking economy or the President’s botched response to a global health crisis, we’ve come together to defend our mutual love for not showering and wearing ratty sweatpants.

The outrage started on Twitter over a column written by the LA Times deputy fashion editor, Adam Tschorn, titled “Enough with the WFH sweatpants. Dress like the adult you’re getting paid to be.”  In the subhead, Tschorn argues that it’s “time to put away the cargo shorts and yoga pants and find your shoes,” a take that makes his initial stance even more annoying.

Even though this tweet is not the fault of the social media editor who posted it, the column is getting the ratio it so richly deserves as people across social media fight back against the expectation that they need to do anything beyond simply survive through a global pandemic.

As annoying as the headline and slug are, the meat of Tschorn’s column is about as relevant as the tickets to a sporting event you may have had. It mattered at one point, but, things being what they are,  it no longer holds any value at all.

Arguing that people who have jobs need to abide by some arbitrary dress code to “deserve their paychecks” is not just a bunch of superficial thinking, but shows how deeply the claws of capitalism have sunk themselves into Tschorn’s reasoning. He’s internalized the system to such a degree that his self worth depends on it, but you, dear reader, sitting at home in your comfy yoga pants or shorts or heck, no bottoms at all, need not fall pray to that kind of institutionalized thinking.

Doing your job is what gets you a paycheck, but everyone, and I mean everyone, deserves a living wage. Right now, with unemployment numbers skyrocketing and people being placed on indefinite furloughs, having a job in and of itself is a luxury.  Having a job that allows you to work from home, keeping you and your family safe, is an undeniable privilege.

Tschorn doesn’t get that at all, and that’s why he’s suffered the wrath of an incensed Twitterati, who are rightfully bristling at not just being judged for what they wear, but for being expected to care about the utmost superficial aspect of society as they fight to maintain a basic standard of living.

The world is burning around us, and there is no point in trying to pretend that things are chugging along as normal. If, in fact, things are chugging along as normal and you can afford to care about wearing Brooks Brothers shirts or whatever, then chances are you’re coming out of the pandemic a fair bit better than the most of us. Instead of empathy for those of us who can’t seem to make it into a pair of jeans on a Monday,  Tschorn only has scorn that reeks of classism.

Honestly, how much time do you think Tschorn spends thinking about not just white collar workers, but the people who actually make the clothes that give him a sense of normalcy? While there’s a lucky group of us dithering about what constitutes appropriate attire for a Zoom call, the people who actually make these clothes, largely in developing world factories, are risking their health and safety daily.  If he cares enough to judge people for being slovenly, I hope he also cares enough about people risking their lives to produce cheap but durable denim.

Everyday feels like a new disaster, and people who are still invested in propping up that facade of normalcy, like Tschorn admits he is, are only going to be in for a much rudder awakening.

People, take to your sweatpants and yoga pants and cargo shorts, if only as a way to resist against the capitalist machine. Wear what is going to make you most formidable as we move through the next few months, because ain’t nothing worth dressing up for while thousands of people are dying needless, pointless deaths.

There’s no going to back to our normal. If one good thing comes out of this, I hope it’s that we can dispense with the charade of stiff shirts and itchy cardigans forever. There’s no point in trying to preserve what was normal. Normal is like, 800 miles behind us in the rearview mirror.  We’ve got a brave new future ahead, and that includes plenty of comfortable, ratty clothing.

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