Jayden Daniels and Brandon Aiyuk are young and like each of us, have many life lessons to learn.
Though they are professional athletes, don’t they still have much to learn? In addition, being like us, won’t they often learn life’s lessons the hard way, through their own mistakes?
Aiyuk is a very talented wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. Aiyuk is entering his fifth year, and he wants more money. His on-the-field accomplishments reveal he will receive a new contract with a hefty pay raise.
Daniels and Aiyuk became friends when both were playing at Arizona State. Aiyuk was then drafted by the 49ers in the first round (25 overall) of the 2020 NFL draft. Daniels transferred to LSU and, of course, was drafted second overall by the Commanders in April’s draft.
Aiyuk’s public statements in recent weeks about wanting his big pay raise are understandable to some degree. But what is not permissible is his posting a photo of the Commanders’ recent workout.
Daniels and Aiyuk have stated they are good friends. However, we often err when we wrongly think friendships are entirely different than other relationships. In fact, they are like other relationships in the sense all relationships NEED boundaries. If you don’t set up boundaries, there are enough people out there (even those you consider your friends) who will walk all over you.
As Rick “Doc” Walker and Denton Day discussed Monday on the “Kevin Sheehan Show,” Aiyuk was using Daniels. Aiyuk was playing Daniels. Aiyuk is the alpha of that relationship.
When you consider a friend your equal, you respect them. You afford them dignity. Boundaries are set and not to be crossed.
Each of us needs to learn this, and often the hard way. Rather than destroy Daniels now for his immaturity in giving such access to Aiyuk, this is an opportunity for Daniels. Daniels could now set healthy boundaries that will actually help both he and Aiyuk respect each other.
As author Henry Cloud wrote in his book, “Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life.”
Boundaries are a “litmus test” for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness. Those who can’t respect our boundaries are telling us that they don’t love our nos. They only love our yeses, our compliance. “I only like it when you do what I want.