‘Commanders’: Cowboys’ biggest rival shows off brand new name, same old ineptitude

The Washington Commanders officially debuted Wednesday, and fans of every team- especially the Cowboys- found plenty to mock. | From @ToddBrock24f7

The Cowboys’ oldest rival has been rebranded. And judging by the initial reactions around the league, Washington seems to have gotten off to somewhat of a stumbling start on Day One under their new team nickname.

Although the official announcement from the team didn’t come until Wednesday morning, there had been widespread expectation that “Commanders” would be the new moniker for the D.C.-based franchise. The new identity comes after ditching the racially-offensive name they had used since 1933 (when they still played in Boston) and then operating for the past two seasons as the Washington Football Team.

Whatever the name, the Cowboys and their fans have always loved to hate the team in burgundy and gold… and now almost everything about the public launching of their new identity is giving the Dallas faithful plenty of fresh mock-worthy material.

The choice of Commanders as the new name was a poorly-kept secret, with team owner Daniel Snyder admitting as much during a Wednesday press conference. At least one media outlet unveiled the name- and even the new logo– nearly a month ago. The team gave footage to NBC Washington that displayed the new graphics in unblurred detail last week. The franchise’s most famous player, Joe Theismann, blurted out the name in an interview two days ahead of time. And a news chopper showed Commanders branding materials inside a huge window at their home stadium- the night before the big reveal- simply by zooming in.

It’s like assembling your kids’ Christmas present right in front of them on Christmas Eve and then selling it as a surprise from Santa the next morning.

The leaks were so big, so bad, and so prevalent that some started to wonder if it were all an elaborate fake-out, and that the Wednesday reveal of some other nickname would catch everyone off-guard.

Nope. Commanders it is.

Many are piling on about the name itself, likening it to a minor-league outfit or a B-league entry instead of a storied pro franchise with a rich history. It appears they’ve even repurposed a Twitter hashtag from the San Antonio Commanders of the now-defunct Alliance of American Football.

Washington’s various symbols and wordmarks have come under fire, too. It’s been pointed out how the “W” looks like everything from the logo of a nationally-known waste company to an origami snake made by a bored sixth-grader. And when placed squarely on the front of what appears to be an alternate helmet design, it calls to mind a buffoonish video game character.

While the team’s official logo, a circular crest, attempts to draw on the franchise’s past successes by listing their championship campaigns, something doesn’t quite add up. The first two years depicted, 1937 and 1942, are correct, as the club did win the NFL championship for those seasons. But the next three years listed- 1983, 1988, and 1992- don’t fit the universally-accepted nomenclature.

It’s technically true that the Super Bowls the organization won were played in January of those years. But they were for the 1982, 1987, and 1991 NFL seasons. And that’s how everyone refers to their Super Bowl seasons, even Washington itself on their old championship banners. (The Cowboys, for example, were actually the 1992 champions, even though Super Bowl XXVII was played in January ’93.)

Cowboys fans in particular had something else to say when the Commanders’ new uniforms were shown off.

Granted, the Cowboys don’t own a trademark on the five-pointed shape commonly seen on everything from Macy’s department stores to Starbucks coffee cups to Converse sneakers to the American flag. And yes, they’re playing up the whole military theme. But c’mon. The Cowboys’ biggest rival literally slapping stars on their helmet would be like Jerry Jones rolling out an alternate Cowboys jersey in burgundy-and-gold. (Stars are also featured on Washington’s new jersey collars.)

All in all, it’s been a rough start for the Commanders as they kick off a new chapter of existence. Observers quickly noticed that a new “chant” attempted by a small group of Commanders fans is practically a note-for-note copy of a famous insurance company’s ad jingle. And on Wednesday, the team sent out cars wrapped in the new logo to cruise the streets of the DMV, with representatives handing out free Commanders merchandise. (Try to imagine Jerry Jones having to give away the newest swag from the Cowboys pro shop to drum up excitement. You can’t.)

It’s difficult to come up with ways the Washington front office could have mishandled this entire re-branding effort any worse. And Cowboys fans, as expected, are loving it.

The two teams will renew their rivalry in 2022 when they meet at AT&T Stadium and at FedEx Field, with dates to be determined. The Cowboys lead the all-time series between the two clubs, 75-47-2.

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