Colts owner Jim Irsay’s press conference quotes about hiring Jeff Saturday are comedy gold

Jim Irsay hears your doubts about interim head coach Jeff Saturday. He’d like you to know, in occasionally hilarious terms, why this works.

Jim Irsay is the owner of an NFL franchise. A moderately successful one, too.

This is important to remember whenever you hear the man whose decisions shape the future of the Indianapolis Colts, because he often speaks with the candor and aggrandizement of a relative you see once per year at Thanksgiving dinner.

Irsay has always been outspoken, both in interviews and on social media. He was the first owner to publicly speak out about removing Dan Snyder as steward of the Washington Commanders following multiple investigations into the team’s allegedly hostile work environment. He also helped local Indiana businesses throughout the pandemic by purchasing, then giving away gift cards through Colts-themed trivia contests on Twitter. He is not a shy man and has developed a unique public identity as a result.

He forged a new path Monday night in an effort to justify hiring Jeff Saturday — a Colts on-field legend whose only coaching experience has come at the high school level — as his interim head coach in 2022. Irsay knew he had a tough road ahead of him justifying the placement of Saturday, who was 3-7 in his final year at Hebron Christian Academy in 2020 and was most recently working as an on-air talent at ESPN.

Rather than dodge those questions or hedge his bets, he met them head on with the kind of enthusiastic analysis you normally overhear with the 1 a.m. SportsCenter playing on a dim barroom television.

Does he see Saturday as a potential long term solution? YOU BET HE DOES.

Does he see Saturday’s lack of coaching experience as a detriment? HELL NO, IT’S A FEATURE NOT A BUG, NERDS.

Did he accidentally provide sound, if sarcastic, gambling advice regarding the Indianapolis Colts over the last half of the 2022 NFL regular season? YEP.

Is he gonna sell us all on Jeff by-god Saturday by reminding us Jim Irsay was the same guy who brought us legendary Colts head coaches Jim Mora and Jim Caldwell? DO THE MATH, STAT GEEKS, THE JIMS DON’T LOSE.

Is three years of high school coaching enough to be successful at the NFL level? IT IS WHEN YOU’RE A COLTS OFFENSIVE LINE LEGEND, Y’ALL.

Saturday, to his credit, appeared to be just as surprised with his hiring as the rest of us.

Now he’s got nine weeks and eight games to prove 14 years scanning defensive sets and clearing running lanes as a starting center, along with three seasons on a high school sideline, were enough to mold him into a viable NFL coach. Conventional wisdom doesn’t support the theory, but Jim Irsay is anything but conventional.

He spent all Monday evening reminding us all of that.

[listicle id=1981441]