Celtics rank favorite Thanksgiving dishes, and turkey isn’t tops

Take a few moments away from your nap to catch up with how the Boston Celtics get fat and sassy on this most caloric of holidays — some of the team’s favorites ought to raise an eyebrow, if not both eyelids.

Happy Thanksgiving!

While there might not be any live-game action for the Boston Celtics — or any NBA team — on Thanksgiving, our cutting-edge (or is that cutting turkey?) coverage doesn’t quit just because of the holiday.

With a 13-4 record and a team with a legitimate claim to be among the league’s best, there’s plenty to be thankful for about this team. Chemistry is good, rookies are making meaningful-if-inconsistent contributions, and most importantly, everyone is for the most part healthy.

Still, we wonder, what will fuel Boston’s fourth-best defense and offense going forward? Will the tryptophan consumed in the form of roasted turkey slow the roll of this surprisingly good team, or serve as a healthy source of protein to bulk up the team’s admittedly undersized frontcourt?

If you want serious answers to these questions, you’ll have to turn elsewhere, as this was a (probably bad) jest. But what we can tell you is who on Boston’s roster likes what dishes on this most special day, and some of the results might just surprise you.

Rookie Grant Williams, for example, is a big fan of stuffing — also known as “dressing” — as well as mac and cheese. More curiously, the Tennessee product prefers ham to the bird which lends its name as shorthand for the holiday, and isn’t fond of yams.

But, he’ll give turkey it’s due, unlike teammate Marcus Smart, because “you have to show some love” for the staple according to the Charlotte native.

The Texan defensive menace eschews the bird for reasons unexplained, instead substituting chicken or the ham Williams also holds dear for the holiday as a primary course for the day. He also is a fan of stuffing, with mac and cheese making a strong showing as well.

That latter pair is at the top of fourth-year wing Jaylen Brown’s Thanksgiving list of favorites, while ham and dressing are aces with Deuce’s dad, swingman Jayson Tatum. He’s also a fan of collard greens — an affinity he shares with Brown — and sweet potato pie, a popular southern Thanksgiving duo.

The General (as Williams is sometimes known), Brown and Smart are far from alone in their love for the holiday version of the classic comfort food.

Usually a step up in quality in terms of both ingredients and cooking method, it’s on rookie wing Romeo Langford’s list of Turkey Day favorites along with big men Tacko Fall, Daniel Theis and Robert Williams III and guards Kemba Walker and Carsen Edwards.

The latter has a thing for banana pudding, which the Purdue product puts on near-equal footing with the cheesy dish so esteemed by his peers, while Fall is old fashioned in his affection for the roast bird itself.

He’s also big (no pun intended) on corn, casseroles and sweet potatoes.

The traditional main course with mashed potatoes and gravy is popular with the big man from the country which shares its name with the bird, Enes Kanter (be thankful no “Tacko” puns were made if that just made you wince), whose intense love for pies is shared with Georgia native Brown, who has a thing for peach cobbler.

The most untraditional (at least, in the U.S.) caloric fixation for the day goes to wing Semi Ojeleye, who pines for jollof rice and poundo yam when the day finally arrives — click the embedded links to find out just what the player of Nigerian descent is talking about.

Gordon Hayward might just be the biggest weirdo of them all when it comes to the holiday, harboring a lifelong fixation on — wait for it — rolls.

Of all the rich options listed above, the Butler product can live without most, evidently. But because he used to fill up on the comparatively dull side as a child at his grandmother’s house, on this day he just “can’t live without a buttered roll”.

While there’s plenty wrong with the world, league and probably most of our lives, let’s take the day to connect with friends and family, share a meal (or, in Hayward’s case, break bread) with friends and maybe even strangers, trying to see through short-term issues to see the bigger picture.

And, of course, to get stuffed like those turkeys — happy holiday to you and yours.