Cavalcade of Whimsy College Football Season Debut: Oh That Wacky Big Ten

College football during a global pandemic, the wacky Big Ten, and the craziest off-season ever in the 2020 debut of the Cavalcade of Whimsy.

This week’s reason I should be the next Commissioner of the Big Ten …

My communication skills are peerless. I’m multilingual. I speak Kiffin …

Translation: He’s saying he wants everyone to be able to transfer, and he wants all the good players to come to Ole Miss.

The sure-thing, 100%, rock-solid lock, sell the house, sell the kids, no doubt about it picks of the century for this week

PICK SO FAR: 0-0 SU, 0-0 ATS

I needed that last touchdown pass from Central Arkansas to keep me in check. I nailed everything about that game against Austin Peay except the winner, the winner against the spread, and the point total. Other than that, it was all great.

One pass.

I needed the soft opening to keep me humble and focused. That moment is over.

Fortunately, these picks are all correct.

– Arkansas State +19 over Memphis
– SMU -22 over Texas State
– Army -3 over Middle Tennessee
– (and only because some guy out there put down $110,000 the other way) Navy +1.5 over BYU

C.O.W. shameless gimmick item …

The weekly five Overrated/Underrated aspects of the world

5) Overrated: Wings

Underrated: Boneless wings (yeah, I said it … LET’S GO)

4) Overrated: Big Ten

Underrated: Big 10 or B1G

3) Overrated: Wireless Application Protocol

Underrated: WAP

2) Overrated: Wasting an entire summer hitting refresh on Twitter to see what’s happening next in the college football world.

Underrated: The 92-year-old guy getting exactly what Twitter can and should be …

1) Overrated: Those who feel the need to say, “That’s so 2020,” or something like that, every time something bad happens.

Underrated: We’re here, and they’re playing college football. 2020 starts now.

Sorry if this column sucked, I wasn’t my fault …

I actually thought all of the other columnists were on the same page. We all had the same data, the same advice, and roughly the same expert opinions, and we were all going to shut down until it was safe to be writing again.

Oops.

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