Category: Food & Drink

Blue Moon makes boozy, baseball-themed ice cream now. You have all been warned.

Finally, ice cream with the alcohol *already* in it.

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Baseball season is over. Ice cream season? Friends, that never ends.

Sure, the nipping winds of November are a detriment to a frozen treat, but there’s no wrong time for ice cream. It’s something on which everyone but the lactose intolerant can agree.

Now, adding beer to that? That’s a bit more divisive.

Yet here Blue Moon is, pairing with Rawlings and Hardscoop to make a boozy ice cream inspired by the Valencia oranges endemic to the popular beer’s origin. The result is Blue Moon Home Run Twist, an infused orange-vanilla ice cream that clocks in at under two percent alcohol by volume (ABV) while attempting to capture the “born in a ballpark” spirit of the brew inside.

In the words of Ronald MacDonald (not that one): “Eating your drinks? That is genius!” Let’s see if it’s any good.

Blue Moon Home Run Twist: B

Opening the carton shows off an ice cream that looks just like orange sherbet. That citrus is the first thing you get from taking a sniff of the ice cream itself, but there’s a subtle malty current waiting below the surface. It smells, honestly, like a very nice summer beer.

That holds true through the first bite. You get bright orange zest — not quite sherbet levels, but enough to let you know where you’ve landed. That’s buoyed by vanilla, creating an easy win via creamsicle replication. You don’t taste the beer or the booze, which makes sense. At 1.9 percent ABV, you aren’t even getting a near-beer’s worth of alcohol.

If there’s one complaint, it’s how the process of freezing alcohol has messed with the ice cream’s texture. There’s a bit of slush to this, creating a granulated mouth feel that’s grainy and a little unpleasant.

Fortunately, it tastes great. Simple, but solid. There’s little connection to Blue Moon itself aside from the Valencia orange, but that’s fine. I’d prefer it to have a lighter touch than a heavier one.

And if you’re looking for a bigger boozy flavor, it’d probably make a decent beer float. I was about to dust that old chestnut out for this review before realizing, whoops, I’m fresh out of Blue Moon.

Would I (eat) it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I eat Blue Moon Home Run Twist over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Look, I didn’t need a way to introduce *more* calories to my drinking. And at 1.9 percent ABV, I’d have to be Joey Chestnut to feel much of anything from this. It tastes good, but you can do better in the ice cream realm and better when it comes to booze.

How to get free Krispy Kreme on Halloween 2024 on Thursday

Go get a free donut!

Yes, I said free Krispy Kreme. And it’s Halloween, so you know you need a donut to celebrate with something sweet.

Here’s the deal: On Thursday, October 31 2024 — Halloween, of course — if you walk into a Krispy Kreme in a costume, you can get a FREE original glazed donut.

Pretty neat, right? And it’s one per customer, as you’d expect, with no purchase necessary. Also, as you can see below, they’re selling Halloween-themed donuts, which look pretty cool. Those, sadly, are not free.

Got all that? Good. Now go get your free glazed donuts and enjoy them. also, have a happy Halloween!

https://www.instagram.com/p/DBv5MFTvz0D/?hl=en

https://www.instagram.com/p/DByhaXfpsSl/?hl=en

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Why Taco Bell isn’t giving away free tacos for stolen bases in the 2024 World Series

Fans have beef with MLB and Taco Bell.

Remember last year during the World Series when Arizona Diamondbacks second baseman Ketel Marte stole a base off Nate Eovaldi in the top of the third inning in Game 1, and how that won everyone a free taco from Taco Bell? It was great moment in American history. An act in a baseball game, winning everyone a free taco. Who doesn’t love that? Even if you weren’t watching baseball, this was a promotion you could support and feast from.

But the promotion is no more. Bases will be stolen in the series between the Yankees and Dodgers, but free tacos will not be awarded.

And fans are not happy.

You might even say they have a beef with Major League Baseball and Taco Bell.

The reason that the promotion is no more is because the popular fast-food joint and MLB broke up.

The Sports Business Journal explained back in April:

“Gone from MLB’s sponsor roster this year is Taco Bell, who has run the “Steal a Base, Steal a Taco” promo during the World Series for years. Taco Bell had been with the league since 2004 (the brand only had postseason QSR rights).”

There’s the explanation. But it didn’t make fans feel any better about not getting free tacos.

 

Make this right, Taco Bell and MLB.

How to buy the Goldfish crackers renamed as Chilean Sea Bass

Here’s how to get your hands on the limited-edition bags.

Goldfish changed its name because adults have seemingly forgotten their roots — but it’s only temporary.

That’s right. Goldish is now Chilean Sea Bass. The snack, initially made for adults, has morphed into a longtime kids’ option. And the Pepperidge Farm-owned brand just can’t have that be the only thing its cheddar friends are known for. So, it changed its name to appear more sophisticated and to remind adults that they, too, can eat the classic cracker.

And guess what? It worked. The initial batch sold out after Chilean Sea Bass was released online on Wednesday. But don’t worry. You can still get your hands on a bag until October 30. Chilean Sea Bass Crackers are available to buy at ChileanSeaBassCrackers.com.

(Feature image courtesy of Pepperidge Farm)

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Safety Shot is the most vile stuff I’ve ever drank

A can of gasoline and burnt hair to fix your hangovers.

(This story and its headline was updated to add new information.)

Welcome back to FTW’s Beverage of the Week series. Here, we mostly chronicle and review beers, but happily expand that scope to any beverage (or food) that pairs well with sports. Yes, even cookie dough whiskey.

Let’s begin with a disclaimer. Safety Shot, the drink that supposedly “reduces blood alcohol content” is now Sure Shot. I have not tried Sure Shot. I ignored the brand’s sample requests. The reason is simple; Safety Shot, I’m fairly certain, is Satan’s urine.

I do not know how they bottled it. I do not understand if the drink can actually lower your BAC, but I’m skeptical. That claim comes two lines above “citrus splash” on the can’s label and to suggest this tastes anything like citrus would be to suggest a dusting of cinnamon atop an open port-a-john makes it a “Christmas ale.”

I am generally happy to try whatever comes my way. Sure Shot is the first drink I’ve refused at FTW’s Beverage of the Week because Safety Shot was such an abject disaster. Coming and going, but we’ll get to that.

Thank whatever higher power you hold dear that you cannot smell this picture.

Safety shot in the morning: F

I cracked this can the morning after a handful of beers. Normally, I’d start my day with about 40 ounces of water, then some caffeine. Today, I’m starting with Safety Shot. I’m not exactly hungover, but there’s room here to feel better.

It pours thick and looks like the Jaguars’ pee chart Color Rush jerseys. It smells, and I cannot stress this enough, horrible. A little like fruit and entirely too much like burnt hair. I am suddenly not looking forward to this. Is this a Malort-style scheme to use awful taste to convince you something’s medicine?

It’s sweet and sugary and then gives way to a fire at Fantastic Sams. I can understand why you’d need to be over-the-top drunk to drink this. It is… rough. There’s a rotten vegetable undercurrent that shows up at the end. It turns everything spoiled and bitter and honestly makes it feel like you’re drinking gasoline. Or a terrible cologne.

“Is that its color? It looks like your pee after a long night of drinking. You’re dehydrated.” That’s how my wife described it after smelling the glass and physically recoiling. I may be failing to properly describe how unappealing this is.

It does get a little better as it goes, or maybe my tongue is getting calloused. It’s making me at least slightly nauseous, however, which feels like a bad vector to introduce to a night of drinking.

I’m now drinking through a straw and trying not to breathe through my nose. Bringing the glass to my face makes me feel as though I am seconds away from a stroke, leaving me to ask a concerned room if anyone else smells melting pennies. I’ve had more pleasant experiences picking up dog poop in my backyard.

Good god, I am 15 minutes into this can and maybe only halfway done. This is torturous. After 30 minutes it’s gone and, fortunately, I do feel a little better. The caffeine isn’t hitting the way I’d hoped — I’m still tired — but the early morning brain fog that comes with drinking a handful of beers as a 40-year-old dad has lifted. After an hour, I feel pretty normal, even as the taste lingers on my tongue and in my stomach. I genuinely want to rip a shot of bourbon just to see if I can get rid of it, which is anathema to Safety Shot’s mission.

Would this lower my blood alcohol content? Not magically, but it’s hideous and takes long enough to drink that I just spent the last half hour not drinking booze, so if nothing else that’s technically true. Did it give me my day back? No. I could have gotten to this point without drinking something my brain screamed at me, every step of the way, not to put in my body.

I’ve moved on to flavored water, in part because I badly need to wash this from my mouth. Good god, this feels like a punishment for a crime I have yet to commit. Possibly a murder, based on the severity of this aftertaste. My stomach hurts and my brain is still trying to untie the knot of what I just drank.

I brushed my teeth for the second time this morning. Maybe this cuts down on your ABV and helps with a hangover, but you know what else does? Running a 5K. And that takes about as long and requires less effort and mental toughness. If you gave me the choice, right now, between running three miles and drinking another can of Safety Shot I would choose the former. Either way, you’re gonna be left tired and feeling like you need a shower.

Update: 90 minutes in and, uh, let’s just say my body is not reacting well to the confluence of terrible things inside my stomach. [Expletive]’s sake. I won’t disgust you with the details, but if Safety Shot’s plan was to keep my BAC down by voiding the contents of my body, well, bravo.

Would I drink it instead of a Hamm’s?

This is a pass/fail mechanism where I compare whatever I’m drinking to my baseline cheap beer. That’s the standby from the land of sky-blue waters, Hamm’s. So the question to answer is: on a typical day, would I drink Safety Shot over a cold can of Hamm’s?

Friends, I’d drink stagnant puddle water over Safety Shot. Hamm’s is sweet deliverance compared to this gustatory nightmare.

Do not, and I cannot stress this enough, drink Safety Shot. Or, by association, Sure Shot.

EDITOR’S NOTE: As we stated above, this is a review of Safety Shot, which has since been rebranded and updated as Sure Shot.