Bryson DeChambeau’s score disappointed at the Masters, but his bravado didn’t

Never change, Bryson.

If we’re holding Bryson DeChambeau to his own standards, he finished at 18-over par at the Masters at Augusta National this weekend.

Yes, I know he was 2-under par on the scorecard. But DeChambeau doesn’t play on the normal scorecard — or on the same plane of reality. He was playing Augusta as a par-67, not the standard 72. That’s what he said at least.

But that comment and result sums up DeChambeau’s weekend, doesn’t it? He ultimately failed to meet the high expectations set by his U.S. Open win. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he wilted under the pressure: after all he had, in classic DeChambeau fashion, opted to raise expectations with his par-67 comment.

And that’s sort of where we are with DeChambeau now. He put on a great show, which is 90% of DeChambeau’s charm. His bravado is always fun, even when he’s hulking his way through a round so awful that it gives viewers (at least this viewer) heartburn. It’s pure entertainment to see a Pro Golfer, the archetype for a composed athlete, look completely out of control.

By now you probably know that DeChambeau is Professor Hulk meets Hulk Hogan. He’s a lovable weirdo with a flare for theatrics, and he bulked up during quarantine with endless protein shakes and staged scientific experiments to tinker with every element of his game. He flaunts so many of the conventions of golf. He oozes machismo and, often, hubris.

His look-at-me!!!!! approach seems to rub some of the gentlemanly old guard of golf in the wrong way. His bold strategy also probably bothers his group-mates, like Jon Rahm, when they have to wait impatiently for him to look for his second lost ball of the round.

So, yeah, DeChambeau’s weekend was ugly. He lost two balls in one day. He took provisional shots on two of his first three holes in his first round (and he put one of his provisionals in a creek). The internet mercilessly memed him for his off-kilter drive. There were truly awful moments from start to finish.

With every backswing, you held your breath. Any given shot could be the most brilliant shot you’ve ever seen, like when he blasted a 380-yard drive over three different patches of trees to a spot near where most players lay up with their second shot.

Any given shot could be exponentially worse than anything you could do, if only because DeChambeau can hit the ball so far the wrong direction.

Even with dreadful play reminiscent of what I look like on a weekend outing, DeChambeau didn’t change his strategy. He continued to boom his drive. He began complaining of dizziness. “I’ve got to fix whatever is going on up here,” he told reporters, via ESPN. “I have no idea. Just dizziness. It’s only when I go from down to up, so I can’t even like think and talk right now.” It’s probably a copout, which is exactly what you should expect out of any good reality TV show star like DeChambeau. Drama. The Masters is, in fact, a dizzying course — that’s why no one plays the course like DeChambeau wanted to play it.

But the weekend was more interesting because he tried to be different. Even when DeChambeau’s errors were hard to watch, he was interesting. Even when he wasn’t swinging the club (and was searching for a ball), he was fascinating. Even when he was complaining of dizziness, he was compelling. And especially when the ball went exactly where he wanted it to go, he was the most watchable player in golf.

Here’s hoping he never changes, because — let’s be real — no one can wait to see what happens next.

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