DeShaun Foster’s opening statement for UCLA at Big Ten media day got so unbelievably awkward

“It’s us and USC” spoke to me so deeply

I feel for DeShaun Foster today. Having to introduce yourself to an entire room of people is not an easy thing to do.

Most of us have had to do this. If you haven’t, let me tell you something — it’s not fun. You have no idea what’s happening and don’t know what to say.

I remember when it happened to me for the first time. My grandma walked me to school one morning on my first day in a new class. It was already going to be awkward, but we were a bit late. So we got to class, and I walked in immediately with all eyes on my grandma and me.

READ MORE: DeShaun Foster has a tough road ahead of him at UCLA

The teacher decided to put me on the spot right then and there. “Welcome! We’re so glad you’re here. Introduce yourself to the class!” I stood there for a minute and then I said. “Hi. I’m Michael. And, uh….” I stood there for another minute. Then I said, “That’s my grandma, y’all.”

THAT’S. MY GRANDMA. Y’ALL. Oh, Sykes, you sweet little 8-year-old dork. I ran into the coat closet, hoping never to be seen again.

Anyway, I say all that to say that’s what Foster’s opening statement at UCLA media day looked like to me.

Foster is a first-time head coach for UCLA this season. He certainly looked like it right here.

“How you guys doing? I’m happy to be here. Glad to be apart of this great conference. Finally putting two great emblems together — UCLA and the Big Ten. We’re a school that’s won 123 championships, so. This fits — us being right in this conference football wise, which is exciting. I’m sure you guys don’t know too much about UCLA, our football program, but we’re in LA. … It’s us and USC. We, … I’m just basically excited, really. That’s it. ” 

I know what it looks like when somebody has nothing left to say. I’ve been there. When he said, “It’s us and USC,” all I could think about was, “That’s my grandma, y’all.”

To be fair to Foster, he might not be much of a public speaker. We also have no idea how many people were actually there—he could’ve been talking to no one.

Still, this is hilariously awkward. And it brings up all the worst elementary school memories.

The good news for Foster and UCLA is that it can only go up from here.