The official state drink of Oklahoma is milk, which is boring but fairly standard; it’s the official state drink, in one form or another, of 23 different places. This, somehow is not the lamest choice that could be made; Indiana’s official beverage is water, which is a fitting reminder to never visit Indiana.*
The unofficial state drink of Oklahoma is the Roy Rogers, which is slightly less boring. The plains equivalent of a Shirley Temple is cola and grenadine and … well that’s about it. It’s cherry Coke, named after a famous cowboy/entertainer whose identity, for east coast millennials, is more closely linked to rest stop fast food than the man himself.
Rogers was actually born in Ohio and lived in California, but he made a movie called Home in Oklahoma and … you know what? Too much backstory. Just know Coke and cherries are Oklahoma’s jam and so is college football.
That led to a very easy choice for Week 12’s College Football Cocktail, even if this year’s edition of Bedlam doesn’t look nearly as appealing as it did in August. Oklahoma has fallen on hard times following Lincoln Riley’s departure (and the departure of multiple players alongside him). Oklahoma State was 5-0 and a top 10 team for a minute but has gone 2-3 since (though reentered the rankings this week by virtue of a seven-point win over 4-6 Iowa State).
Regardless, in-state rivalries produce bonkers games and Oklahoma-Oklahoma State is no exception. The Cowboys have only won 18 times in 108 tries, but look at some of the scores this game has produced the last decade:
- 37-33 (2021)
- 47-48 (2018)
- 52-62 (2017)
- 38-35 (2014)
- 48-51 (2012)
That rules! And while this will only be the second time in eight seasons where one of these teams is unranked, the Sooners, once a top 10 team in their own right, still have the extra gear to turn this into a true shootout.
Or maybe it ends something stupid like 23-14. 2022 is weird in the Sooner State.
Anyway, in honor of that we’re boozing up your Roy Rogers. It’s not very original or complex, but it’s good. And since I drank a damn dog bowl of garbage for UMass-New Mexico State, I’m happy with simple and good right now.
The Bedlam Roy Rogers
- 6 oz. cola
- 1.5 oz grenadine (or whatever’s at the bottom of your jar of maraschino cherries)
- 1.5 oz bourbon
In honor of another Oklahoma rivalry, I’m using Yellow Rose bourbon — a Texas-based distillery — as a nod to the Red River Shootout (and because it was $9.99 a bottle at my local Woodman’s. That bargain cart, man. Wisconsinites know).
It tastes … pretty great actually. As a firm believer of the Badger State’s old fashioneds (brandy or bourbon or rye, all good), I can appreciate a good cherry-adled cocktail. This is the confluence of three sweet things — the Yellow Rose is light and mixes nicely — that work well together. Whiskey and Coke? Great. Cherry Coke? Wonderful. So yeah, this is basically a sweet drink turducken.
I used Faygo diet cola, which is fine because I’m cheap but obviously not as good as Coca-Cola. There’s probably room for this to get better, but since we’re mixing ingredients with bright red sugar water there isn’t really an emphasis in quality. Which, given the state of 2022 Bedlam, seems fair.
It’s very easy to drink, even if the sweetness is probably too much for say, three or four at a time. Of course, you could even that out by upping the bourbon content or maybe using a drier spirit like, say, rye. But I’m not here to tell you how to drink. I’m just here to … OK wait hold on what am I here for again?
*Unless the Indy 500 or Big Ten Basketball Tournament happen to be taking place.